It's an illusion, Michael.

Vote for Austin.

2010-08-22T19:52:00.000-07:00

If you still get this blog in your reader, then you've got to be a pretty good friend of mine. And if you're that good of a friend, you can do a favor for another good friend of mine.

Go vote for Austin, to become Logitech's Host With the Most in LA. Voting ends tomorrow, so do it fast—this is the final push for votes.

Go here! Take just a second!
http://wildfireapp.com/website/6/contests/44461/voteable_entries/6888626

I've got a new site...

2009-08-11T22:50:00.000-07:00

I know nobody is checking this blog anymore, and that's fine as I don't really plan on writing in it anymore. But I thought I'd use it as one more channel to spread the word... I've launched a site of sports commentary and analysis, and you should definitely go check it out. It's called How to Watch Sports, and it's here: http://www.howtowatchsports.com

Most of the articles are written by me, with a few by guest authors. Enjoy!

The same thing, only better.

2008-12-03T11:51:00.000-08:00

Thanks to everybody who voted for Lymabean - we made it to the final round! That means we were one of the top three in the preliminary voting.

This is where it really counts, so if you can find it in the deepest reaches your heart to do so, cast your vote. You can do so once a day, and it's only for 11 days (ends the 14th). Every little bit helps, right?

Here's where you vote:

And, like before, your vote won't go through until you click in the confirmation email.

Thanks!

It's been a long time.

2008-11-25T07:03:00.000-08:00

Yeah, it's been a long time since I've put anything here - and now I'm asking for favors. Some friend I am.

But the truth is, Lymabean has been nominated for an Open Web Award, and that's a very cool thing. The site with the most votes moves into the final voting round, and we can use all the help we can get. You can vote once every day, so it would be tremendously cool if you could come back and vote often.

Here's how you vote - just put in your email address and hit "Vote now." Then go check your email... your vote will go through once you've clicked the confirmation email it sends you.

Thanks!

HSP'SD.

2008-03-17T09:32:00.000-07:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day. I thought it might be worth taking the time to point out what I was doing this time last year, and mention that I'm wearing the shirt again today. I think I'll wear it every year until it disintegrates.

And for this year, St. Patty's would be nothing without the Notre Dame Lymabean.

More Bean logos/avatars here.

All the news that's fit to listen to.

2008-02-21T07:29:00.000-08:00

I was listening to NPR yesterday, and the newsperson casually mentioned that pretty soon NASA will be shooting down an ailing spy satellite.

And I can't express how much that sounds like alien spy satellite.

NASA will be shooting down an alien spy satellite.

This is why I listen to the news.

My next project.

2008-02-05T12:50:00.000-08:00

It bothers me that the days of the week don't go in alphabetical order.

Exhibit A:
MTWTFSS

We only have seven days of the week, and yet we double two of the letters already (two T's and two S's). We sometimes compensate by doing a two-letter abbreviation (Th for Thursday) but often we go for three letters (Thu), four (Thur), or everything before the "day" part (Thurs), just to make sure we distinguish the days correctly. Think of how much easier it would be if they were alphabetical.

Exhibit B:
ABCDEFG

Which brings me to another point. I'm tired of pretending Sunday being the first day of the week. Monday is very clearly the first day of the week, and the weekend comes after the work week is over. So, under the new model, instead of saying "We're open M-F 8-5," you would say "We're open A-E, 8-5," which is way more intuitive.

Here are my proposed names for the new days of the week:

I hope we can get this implemented soon.

lymabean = love.

2008-02-02T22:38:00.000-08:00

So, I work for Lymabean. And it's awesome.

I knew the name Lymabean long before I knew what it was, so I assume that it's the same way for other people. Fear not - we're going to get that all straight.

While we're still a few weeks away from the beta launch, we finally have something to show. I spent some time this week, making a demo video, which you can find at lymabean.com. Click on the video link at the bottom and check it out. Go!

There's a bonus, too. You get to see what Lymabean's all about, of course, but the best part is that you get to listen to my voice tell you about it.

Blog writer's block.

2008-02-02T22:27:00.000-08:00

I haven't been writing in my blog so much lately. Not nearly like I used to.

There are lots of things to blame it on, too. Probably the most pertinent is that I am now happily married, and thus don't spend my evenings alone on my computer. I could also blame it on a job I really enjoy, or living in an awesome place. Today, though, I'm going to blame it on having too many blogs. Sheesh.

With the creation of The Anger Blog, when something new happens I'm not sure where to write about it. So I compromise and don't write on either of them. Because I'm lame, mostly.

Either that, or my brain has stop producing thoughts.

President Hinckley, you will be missed.

2008-01-27T20:23:00.000-08:00

New phone number.

2007-12-12T10:43:00.000-08:00

I got a new phone number.

I had planned on keeping my 801 phone number forever, because I had discovered that area codes don't matter anymore. While in school it became apparent that the 7-digit phone number had given way to the 10-digit phone number; when everyone has cell phones, long distance is no longer an issue. We'd moved a step closer toward having one phone number that you have for your entire life.

What I hadn't considered is that in the real world, people aren't all from different places like they were at BYU, and many people still use landline phones (which makes long distance an issue again). Our apartment complex has a call box from the front gate that goes to your phone... but not a long distance phone. And when I got here and started telling people my phone number, they thought the 801 was the first three digits instead of the area code.

So I got a new number. I'm not crazy about putting it on the blog, for the whole creepy public to see, so send me an email or something if you need it.

New blog.

2007-11-27T16:00:00.000-08:00

We've got a new blog, for the two of us.

angerpimentel.blogspot.com

I kid you not.

2007-11-16T12:46:00.000-08:00

The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile was at my house Saturday night. I absolutely kid you not.

I was at my parents’ house, and they were arriving back from the evening session of stake conference. My dad is the branch president of the singles branch, so the branch members were coming over for root beer floats following the session. One of these people was the driver of said Wienermobile — his name was Jeff — and he just happened to be passing through at the right time. So he came to our house. In the Wienermobile.

He didn’t seem to mind showing people the inside, so I got some awesome pictures. Notable are the cool seats, the mustard detailing on the floor, and the sky-themed ceiling (“It’s always blue skies in the Wienermobile,” says Jeff, pictured second to last below). Also awesome is the Delorean-style door to get in.

The only thing that could compare with having the Wienermobile at my house was seeing it tower over the rest of the parking lot at stake conference the next morning. With Elder Richard G. Hinckley, the prophet’s son, in attendance.

Highlights from a fantastic day.

2007-11-15T12:49:00.000-08:00

There are a lot more. But these are my favorites.

New rule.

2007-10-20T21:17:00.000-07:00

Every time you go to a Mexican restaurant, get carnitas. It's the best.

By request.

2007-10-16T18:41:00.000-07:00

More details and pictures from the Office Premiere Party. This will conclude coverage of the party. Keep in mind that every detail is an Office reference – I'm not going to explain them all here, so it's up to you to correctly identify their origins.

Decorations:
Whoreish orange streamers
Paper doves
"Office" sign on the door
Mustache on the bathroom mirror

Food:
Hot dogs (polish dogs, actually)
Awesome Blossom from Chili's
Potato salad
Bagel Bites
A bowl of jelly beans
Baby Ruth bars
Count Chocula cereal bars (for dessert)
Mexican Lemonade
Grape soda

Activities:
People started showing up more than an hour before the episode was to begin, to start eating and to watch a rescreening of The Job, the finale episode from last season. After The Job, and right before the premiere started was the musical number – a performance of "Pam Pong," by Sweet Diss and the Comebacks, performed by myself on the guitar. Following the watching of the episode, we put it back on again (thank you Tivo), and screened t-shirts until people had to leave. It was great fun.

It's Creed! And he's in a band!

2007-10-12T22:36:00.000-07:00

Creed is my favorite character on The Office. No one else really comes close. He mentions in a deleted scene in the Booze Cruise episode that he was in a band called the Grass Roots – and I heard that the actor (Creed Bratton) actually was. But I had no idea that the band played songs I actually know.

First of all, the deleted scene is here. So you know what you're watching, it's an actual clip of Creed playing the guitar on the Booze Cruise, plus a clip of him talking about going on tour with Janis Joplin and Cream. Turns out that's true.

But now to the good stuff. The Grass Roots did a song called "Let's Live For Today," which you probably know. To get your socks blown off, watch the video of it on YouTube. Creed is playing lead guitar, he's in the striped sweater – check out the close-up at 1:31 and his solo starting at 1:48. That's Creed, all right. And I know that song! La la la la la la, live for today.

The Grass Roots also did a song called "Midnight Confessions," which is also somewhat well-known. Video here. If you're looking for close-ups of Creed, though, watch "Let's Live For Today."

Turns out Creed did pretty well for himself before The Office. Coming up: more dirt on other Office characters, as I can dig it up.

Times the Post Office is not open.

2007-10-09T09:19:00.000-07:00

Before work
After work
Holidays
Real hours on weekends
When I need to go

My grandma's reaction to Andy, on The Office last night.

2007-10-05T17:00:00.000-07:00

"Wish he didn't look so much like Elder Holland."

How to suspend a stapler in Jell-o.

2007-10-01T16:58:00.000-07:00

Or, The Office Season 4 Premiere Party Stapler Jell-o Mold.
You've seen when Jim puts Dwight's stapler in Jell-o in The Office pilot. Then he does it to Michael's mug. Then later to Andy's calculator. It's a classic. And if you do it wrong, it's going to fall apart. There are a few tricks—some that we learned from cast member blogs, and some we figured out on our own. Here's how we did it successfully.

Find a bowl large enough for the stapler. Our was Pyrex, and that worked great. I can't speak for any other kind of bowl.
Use thread to suspend the stapler away from the edges of the bowl. As you can see in our previous attempt, we made a little hammock for the stapler to lay in, by taping thread to the sides. It worked perfect. I wish I'd taken pictures this time.
Mix up the gelatin. We used standard Knox gelatin. Our first try was with Jell-o and it was unsuccessful—this worked much better. For standard gelatin goo you're supposed to use one pouch for one cup of water. For this we used 16 packets, for about 4-6 cups of water. I'd recommend a really heavy concentration like that.
Add food coloring. That way it looks like Jell-o. Yellow is recommended because it's easy to see through (and it's authentic to the show).
Pour the liquid mixture into the bowl, that already has the stapler suspended in it. The stapler might float a little because it will be full of air. You can pry off the rubber bottom a tiny bit with a knife if you want... it will let a bunch of bubbles out.
Refrigerate. Overnight.
If you've used a Pyrex bowl, there's a pretty surefire way to get the mold out. Fill the sink with hot water, and then lower the bowl into it (make sure the water doesn't spill into the bowl, onto the gelatin).
Flip the bowl over onto a plate, or whatever you're putting the mold out. If it doesn't slide right out, put it in the water for a little longer.
Ta-da! Stapler Jell-o mold.

When you're done with it, it's easy to get rid of: Put the mold under hot running water, and the gelatin will melt away. The stapler will be totally salvageable, so you can use it in another mold later. If you want to hang on to it, it will last for a couple of days unrefrigerated—then it will start to sprout other life forms. Then you'll have real Jell-o... mold (chuckle).

The Office Season 4 Premiere Party T-shirt Designs

2007-09-28T00:32:00.000-07:00

Huge, huge, massive props to Andrea for these designs. These are Office-inspired t-shirt designs. They're not lame fan swag — they're way cool. And they're not just shirts with boring words on them. They're pretty much the coolest thing ever. Those in attendance at the party brought their own shirts, and we printed these designs after the show was over.

The Office Season 4 Premiere Party Soundtrack

2007-09-27T11:55:00.000-07:00

This is the first of probably several posts detailing our awesome Office Season 4 Premiere Party. This first item is a soundtrack, that will be playing as people arrive and leave. It comprises 20 songs that show up somewhere, somehow in the Office — and at the same time, it creates a nice trivia game. If you can identify where all of these songs show up in the show, then you're obsessed. Try it.

The tracklist:

The Cardigans - Lovefool
The Police - Roxanne
Jewel - You Were Meant For Me
The Cranberries - Zombie
Indigo Girls - Closer to Fine
James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover
Billy Joel - We Didn't Start the Fire
Elton John - Tiny Dancer
Travis - Sing
U2 - With or Without You
Styx - Lady
The Tokens - The Lion Sleeps Tonight
R.E.M. - Everybody Hurts
Sarah McLachlan - The Rainbow Connection
Kenny Rogers - The Gambler
Bobby Day - Rockin' Robin
Eddie Money - Two Tickets to Paradise
Crosby Stills Nash & Young - Teach Your Children
Buster Poindexter - Hot Hot Hot
Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton - Islands in the Stream

Thank you, JetBlue.

2007-09-23T09:50:00.000-07:00

I flew JetBlue on my recent trip to New York. I find no need to use any other airline. JetBlue is the best.

First of all, it was the cheapest flight I could find to New York and back on short notice—and that was even into JFK instead of LaGuardia, which is usually more expensive.

Second, they have TV's for every seat where you can watch real TV.

Third, they have blue potato chips.

But my flight back was, even for JetBlue, a singular experience. I'd gotten an exit row seat, which is a great deal—you get extra leg room, and the plane only rarely crashes so it usually doesn't matter that you're in the exit row.

(As an aside, I don't have an extra leg so I used the space for other things. They're nice about that.)

On top of my exit row seat, though, was the huge bonus that the other two seats in my row didn't get filled. No-shows, or something. So now I not only had more legroom, but I had the whole row to myself.

My next actions were obvious: I moved into the middle seat, so I'd have optimal lateral legroom, and I tuned all three TV's to different channels. Then when one got boring or went to a commercial, I'd unplug my headphones and plug them into a different one that looked more interesting.

Paired with blue potato chips, it was a near-optimal TV-watching experience. And one heck of a plane ride.

My YouTube debut.

2007-09-13T07:35:00.000-07:00

Turns out someone uploaded a video of me yoyoing to YouTube. It's from my last day at my internship this summer—it's me lighting a match, held in someone's mouth, with a yo-yo. You should go see it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WVHdMdOcFM

It's not the most amazing quality (it may have been taken on a phone or something), but it'll do. I'm expecting big endorsement deals any day now.

It's been a good day.

2007-08-31T21:49:00.000-07:00

Today I asked my best friend to marry me.

And she said yes.

Pirate church.

2007-08-19T15:37:00.000-07:00

I went to Anne's ward today. It had a pirate theme.

When we arrived, we were greeted by a gentleman with an eyepatch. The real-deal black eyepatch. He knew Anne, but introduced himself to me (I think his name was Smee, but I'm a little fuzzy on that). He then made some comment about how he'd been keeping an eye out for her. That was almost too much—there were guts exploding out of my back as I resisted the one-eye joke. Oh man.

The speakers were a couple who had just returnde from their mission. That meant that they had a whole crew of family in the congregation—several rows' worth—including a autistic grandson. This grandson was apparently on board (get it?) with the whole pirate theme, because he kept shouting "ahoy!" every few minutes during Sacrament Meeting. It was awesome.

There were a few more cool things about that meeting, though they depart from the theme. There was a musical number by a lady named Ans (pronounced "ahns"... like Hans without the H). Her husband? Frans. Ans and Frans. I was pumped.

Anyway, the musical number was scheduled for after the couple had spoken, but before the final speaker (high council). The musical number had already been announced, but by the time the couple had finished speaking the meeting had already run over. Unsure of whether she was still on, Ans called from the back of the chapel: "DO YOU STILL WANT ME?" They did, and she did her song. But I don't think I've ever heard anybody shout from the congregation like that.

All in all, it was a great meeting. I'm gonna go again.

Kinko's, a surprise friend, and me.

2007-08-16T09:46:00.001-07:00

I went to Kinko's last night, around 1:30 AM.

I prefer going to Kinko's in the middle of the night—you don't have to wait for your stuff, the person behind the counter is willing to help, and sometimes they let you use the saddle-stitch stapler yourself. On this particular visit I had some portfolios cut, and went to find some counter space to settle down with said stapler. I assumed I was, as usual, alone in the store. If I was, it wouldn't be making an interesting story now.

This Kinko's had a somewhat different layout than other locations I'd been to. The counter, featuring friendly sales representatives, is on the left when you walk in. To the right are the self-service printers and copiers, and then around a corner, out sight of the staff members, is a bank of desks for plugging in laptops. And at the last desk I found my friend. A hobo, sleeping.

It was actually a female hobo (hoba). She had her head down on the desk and seemed to be sound asleep. She stood a good chance of not being discovered, because (a) she was quiet, and (b) the staff people probably didn't have any reason to go looking back there. Kinko's was probably a pretty good place to spend the night—it was a pleasant temperature, and soft music was playing. I actually enjoyed that this particularly hobo had found such a good, clean place... it's nice to see a hobo who takes pride in their work (hobo pride = hobris).

I didn't turn her in or anything. The last thing you want is to be blacklisted with the hobo community.

(gratuitous hobo picture)

I'm just crazy, really.

2007-08-13T18:49:00.000-07:00

People who have lost a limb often have phantom sensations that the limb is still there and attached to the body. It happens a lot more than you might expect—50% to 80% of amputees report it—and it is generally said to be painful.

Beyond just pain, though, is the concept of having an actual phantom limb. Some people report that their phantom limb makes gestures as they talk. Particularly compelling is this example, which shows that the phantom feelings are not abstract physiological white noise, but rather specific and concrete:

I placed a coffee cup in front of John and asked him to grab it [with his phantom limb]. Just as he said he was reaching out, I yanked the cup away.
"Ow!" he yelled. "Don't do that!"
"What's the matter?"
"Don't do that", he repeated. "I had just got my fingers around the cup handle when you pulled it. That really hurts!"
Hold on a minute. I wrench a real cup from phantom fingers and the person yells, ouch! The fingers were illusory, but the pain was real - indeed, so intense that I dared not repeat the experiment.

They used to think that the sensation was caused by something in the nerve endings where the limb was supposed to be, so they'd try amputating a little bit more of the stump. This only complicated the problem, though—people afterward would not only continue to have the phantom limb sensation, but would also experience phantom feelings of the stump that was also now gone.

What happens is that the brain reorganizes when it finds that sensory input is cut off from that limb. The somatosensory cortex, which receives the data, will instead start taking data from another area of the body—thus the brain doesn't figure out that the limb is gone, because it starts to again receive sensory data indicating that all is well.

And sometimes when I don't have my phone with me I still feel it vibrating in my pocket.

A Positive Consumer Experience.

2007-08-06T09:18:00.001-07:00

Every once in a while I have a Positive Consumer Experience. And I like to share them because I like to reward the company for being awesome.

Today's winner is the online ordering from Old Navy. I've always liked Old Navy, but this was my first time ordering online. I did so because I was getting a pair of shoes, and most of their physical locations don't have shoes.

The problem with ordering shoes online is that you have to guess the size. I guessed 10, and I was wrong. They were too small. So I knew I'd have to ship them back, and it would be this big problem that would cost me more money.

Not so.

Old Navy puts a pre-paid return shipping sticker in the bag with your stuff. But that's not all, oh no. The bag it came in is resealable. You can just put the thing back in the bag, slap the shipping sticker on it, and drop it at UPS. Doesn't cost a cent of shipping. I couldn't believe it. If you want, they'll even send you the new item before you return the old one, and credit you back the cost once they get the old one. Impressive.

They're awesome shoes, too. Wool shoes? Rad.

Mad props to Old Navy for providing today's Positive Consumer Experience. Go buy things from them.

A cool shirt.

2007-07-27T19:58:00.000-07:00

I got a cool shirt yesterday. At work.

It's from the Truth campaign, which has been one of my favorite ad campaigns for a while. It's the anti-smoking one... encouraging kids to not start smoking. It's cool stuff. And it comes from CP+B.

The shirt is a "secondhand shirt," meaning that it's actually an old shirt that they've turned inside out and printed on. On the front it lists the names of some poisonous chemicals. And on the back it says, "All of the chemicals on this secondhand shirt are also in secondhand smoke." There's your concept.

But only focusing on the concept means ignoring the extreme coolness of this shirt. For one thing, it's an inside-out t-shirt, which is terrific. I'm including a detail picture of a seam, and as you can see, there's even a big string hanging off. Awesome.

But it's also definitely just an old shirt, and you can see the original printing through it (look closely at the second picture above). This one was for "Malibu Caribbean Rum with natural coconut flavor." Could there be a cooler shirt than this? Maybe. But I won't know until I've turned many more shirts inside out and printed on them.

One year older, and wiser too.

2007-07-25T13:36:00.000-07:00

My blog is one year old today. Woohoo.

This is the 86th post, creating a mean of 7.167 posts per month, or one post every 4.24 days.

Stats for number of posts, by month:
Mean = 7.167
Median = 5
Modes = 3, 4, 5, 8, 10
Min = 1 (November)
Max = 14 (January)
Standard Deviation = 3.609
Variance = 13.026

My first post was the story about the big black man yelling at me on the subway. And it's still one of the better ones.

Things Britons say.

2007-07-19T08:24:00.000-07:00

This is an account of an actual conversation between me and my British roommate last night. I promise.

My roommate, who I'll call Dave, was thinking of things we needed to get from the store. "Oh," he said, "we need more liquid."

"All right..." I paused. "What kind of liquid?"

"Oh, you know, washing up liquid."

This was a term I'd never heard before, and as he wrote "washing up liquid" on the dry-erase board I had a good chuckle to myself.

"You mean soap?" I asked finally.

"You just call that soap? For washing up?" He gestured to the dishes in the sink.

"Yeah. Or dish soap, at most."

He seemed a bit bothered by the number of things we call soap—from hand soap to dish soap to normal bars of soap, which is the only soap that he calls soap. But "washing up liquid"? Wow. Wow wow wow.

In my own defense, he got a kick out of when I called a portable stereo a "boombox." I'll concede that "boombox" (box go boom!) is about as cool a name as "washing up liquid."

A question, for everyone.

2007-07-17T17:11:00.000-07:00

Would you wear pants with a velcro fly?

PROS:
Your fly would NEVER be open. In the act of buttoning the top button, your fly would just close. And the button would keep it from accidentally pulling open, or anything. No stuck zippers, no series of buttons to button, just pure fly-related confidence.

CONS:
- The sound, when you open it.
- Velcro has to be topstitched, but they could cover up the stitches. I'm not too worried about that.
- The lint accumulation problem. I've never personally had this problem, but it would seriously damage my fly-is-never-open argument.
- It would have to be very flexible velcro, so that it wouldn't be too stiff in such a crucial area. But jeans are fairly stiff anyway, so maybe it's a moot point.

So? Would you?

Bullet points again.

2007-07-16T08:44:00.000-07:00

These aren't all of general interest. Sorry.

Last week I touched the Titanium Grand Prix and Interactive Agency of the Year trophies from the Cannes Lions.
Yesterday in Sacrament Meeting a guy talked about how he took an Astrology class in college that made him feel closer to God. Pretty sure he meant Astronomy.
This was in an email from Jeff, about the Ad Lab: "...and still have a ton of Ad Council work. They tell us we are their largest agency."
Saw the Harry Potter movie on Saturday. Bellatrix is awesome. They should do a whole series of movies about her.
This is the coolest website ever: www.simpsonizeme.com. You upload a picture of yourself, and it makes you look like you would on The Simpsons.
I saw somebody wearing a Goorin hat at work last week.
The snogging in the HP movie wasn't as bad as it could have been. That said, there's a billion times more of it in book 6. So I'm sure we'll get an eyeful before these movies are done.
We've been piggybacking on somebody's unsecured wireless network and home. Except now they've secured it. Dang.
I can not, and will not, live without internet at home. And if that means paying for it, well... so be it.
I'm about halfway done with my internship, I think. And the prospect of having to get a real job scares the lights out of me.

It was like... magic.

2007-07-13T10:55:00.000-07:00

I went to the library a few days ago. I'd just finished Catch-22, which was tremendous, and I needed another book to read.

I decided, on a whim, to see if they had a copy of Harry Potter, book 6. I knew it would be fruitless, though. I'm pretty sure that every copy in the world is checked out, so people can reread it before the 7th book comes out (which is exactly what I had in mind). When I looked it up on the library computer, all the copies were indeed checked out, except for one—which indicated it was in a section called "Basement Children."

There were no stairs, so I got in the elevator to go down to the basement. Only it didn't go down to a basement.

After looking around a little bit, I consulted the librarian at the front desk. She told me there wasn't a way that I could get to "Basement Children," but that she could go get the book for me. This is where it gets interesting.

She took a set of keys out of her desk, and walked to the wall. Neatly disguised by the wood paneling on the wall, was a hidden door. She opened the door in the wall and disappeared down a flight of stairs. She came back up a few minutes later, indicating that luckily the book had just barely been checked back in, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to find it.

I was pleased to get the book, for sure. But what's the deal with "Basement Children"? And the hidden door? Is there a vault down there? What else is in it?

So many questions.

Pam Pong. Lyrics and chords.

2007-07-10T09:29:00.001-07:00

I'm obsessed with The Office. Like, actually obsessed. And there's a pretty good chance that you are too, if I have any idea who reads my blog.

It turns out there's a great fan-created song about Pam, called Pam Pong, by Sweet Diss and the Comebacks. Most fan-created content is crap. But this song is well-written and well-performed. Do you think I'm allowed to put an mp3 here? Regardless, I can email it to you if you want to hear it. And you probably do.

The mere existence of the song doesn't prove that I'm obsessed with The Office. But the fact that I transcribed the chords, and am posting them here, does.

Verse:
A Fmaj7 A Fmaj7 G (4x)

Chorus:
C Fmaj7 C Fmaj7
C Fmaj7 C Fmaj7 G

The other part:
C Dm Am D G (4x)

And here are the episode-reference-laden lyrics. They're actually quite charming:

She will make up her hair, but she can’t make up her own mind
She will answer the phones, but she can’t answer her own heart
She’s the kind of girl you see, whose smile could light The Electric City
She’s the kind of girl you know that you could marry just to show you care

So, how are you Beesly? Who’s getting you down?
You know that you tease me when no one’s around everyday.

Catherine Zeta flirts, Bobblehead Joe has fireworks
The boss is already out, he’ll Schrute it up, I have no doubt.
She’s the kind of girl you’d adore, that you could make your famous cheese sandwich for.
And dance until the music stops; Look into her eyes, tell her how you feel.

So, how are you Beesly? Who’s getting you down?
You know that you tease me when no one’s around everyday.

She said ‘Swaying isn’t dancing’ and any idiot could tell you that
I was crushed and what I said to her was so mean and then, I walked away from
the girl I love, the girl I need, the girl I deeply care about;
the girl I want, the girl I desire, the girl I simply can’t live without

We hiked Garden of the Gods.

2007-07-08T20:25:00.001-07:00

Isn't it about... time?

2007-07-06T11:28:00.000-07:00

I haven't really taken it upon myself to put ads up here in the past. But I thought this one was worth sharing.

The site, as you were probably wondering, is Thesaurus.com. I'm not sure who decided that thesaurus users are the most likely to have severe underarm sweating, but oh well.

Also, I hope the lady in the picture gets her big break from doing this.

Feliz Cuarto de Julio.

2007-07-05T09:13:00.000-07:00

A few thoughts from the last few days.

As of July 3rd, it's been five years since I went into the MTC. Five years. I can't believe I've even been alive that long.

I just spent the last day or two in the company of an extremely pregnant woman, and she was really, really hard to be around. I'm sure not all women are so unpleasant before childbirth, but this particular one was worthy of a certain appellation I've never felt comfortable saying. Wow.

I hope everybody had a good 4th of July. We made pupusas and chili rellenos. It was great, albeit not entirely American.

I like pop music. Not necessarily everything that's on the radio, and in fact I'm a bit behind in popular music, but I like the lack of pretension that comes with pop. Most performers don't take themselves too seriously. And it's refreshing.

I really like my job. And by job I mean internship.

That's all, really.

Things we studied in my junior-year high school english class.

2007-06-27T08:45:00.000-07:00

Self-important, hyper-feminist literature selected by the teacher to compensate for the feelings of hopelessness and conformity caused her solitary, oppressed life.

"The Awakening," by Kate Chopin.

Three similar acronyms I have heard, two of which are vulgar and one of which is pleasant.

2007-06-25T17:05:00.000-07:00

I must have missed the first ten.

2007-06-24T21:43:00.000-07:00

Saw Ocean's 13 yesterday.

It's good. If you liked Ocean's 11, you'll like this one almost as much, because it's a rewrite of the same movie. Casino heist for revenge. It's a good premise. Then load down the movie with Hollywood superstars, and it's hard to go wrong. This one's a bit more convoluted than 11, and less exciting, but it's not bad.

I need to provide some background before I say anything more about 13, so let's leave that for a moment and talk a bit about 11.

Ocean's 11 was the epitome of cool. The music was cool, the visual stylings were cool, and it starred a bunch of cool guys wearing cool clothes. And they said cool things. It was cool, through and through. And I think it's sort of a tribute to the more golden years of Hollywood.

And I know it's a remake of a Rat Pack movie, but I'm not talking about that at all.

What I'm talking about more is how Ocean's 11 is like an old Fred Astaire movie. Fred Astaire did three things well: sing, dance, and wear a tuxedo. And he did them very well. Thus, in every movie he's in he ends up singing and dancing at some point. And, inexplicably, the plot of the movie always makes it necessary for his character to be wearing a tuxedo the whole time. In several movies he played a performer whose job it was to sing, dance, and wear a tuxedo. It was a recipe for success because he was the best at it, so they wrote his movies around him.

Ocean's 11, I think, is a lot like that... only more so because you bring in a bunch of superstars. George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, Bernie Mac, etc... any of these guys can (and do) star alone in their own movies. And the first three listed can be pretty cool. Ocean's 11 gives these guys the chance to hang around in sharp-looking clothes and say cool things, just because they're good at it. It's written for them. One would expect that they're hardly even playing characters, as much as they're playing themselves.

Which brings us back to Ocean's 13. The plot doesn't have anything new and worth writing home about. But it's always good to see these guys doing what they do best.

Two things I learned from girls, that contradicted what I might have supposed before.

2007-06-22T09:24:00.000-07:00

1. Water is not the appropriate antidote for dry skin. It may seem that if your hands are dry, then water (being wet) would counteract that; apparently, this is not the case. You need lotion instead. Washing your hands repeatedly, or even taking long showers, isn't going to make you moister. At least not for long.

2. Not all girls' clothes have belt loops. If you're a guy, every pair of pants you own has either belt loops or an elastic waistband, so it doesn't totally matter if things fit. You can make any of a number of sizes fit, if you have a belt. But not so with girls' clothes. Apparently, for some things, you have to buy it in just the right size—then if you get any bigger or smaller, it doesn't fit anymore.

You learn something new every day.

The Centennial State.

2007-06-11T20:30:00.000-07:00

I write tonight while sitting on my Ikea bed. It's the only piece of furniture in my bedroom, unless you count the cardboard box that I'm using as a nightstand. It's pretty cool.

I'm in Boulder, and it's pretty cool. If you've heard that it's a bit liberal, you're right; if you heard that it's full of hippies, that's true too. It's not a bad thing. Even the lame grocery store near my apartment (King Sooper's) has a huge natural foods section. I tend to prefer the normal processed foods, but I like the social awareness.

I've been at my internship for a week and a day. Some of the stuff I'd heard about it is true, some isn't. There are no cots laid out for people to collapse on when they've worked themselves to exhaustion. It's pretty normal inside. People have desks and offices and soccer teams on the weekends. I expected there to be a chocolate river. But there isn't one.

That said, I came home at 8 pm today and felt like it was getting home early. There's a big difference between this and other jobs, though. At other jobs I've always been counting down the minutes to 5 o'clock. Here, 5 comes and goes and you don't even notice. 6, 7, 8. By the time you look up the sun is going down, and you realize you'll have to pick up where you left off in the morning. I love what I do. What a great job.

This is one of those times where the reward for years of hard work is that you get to start all over again. I gave it everything I had through college to get here, and now I'm at the very bottom of the ladder (an intern... very bottom), looking up. That's cool, though. I've never turned down the challenge before.

Things are good.

The party.

2007-05-18T00:13:00.001-07:00

The party was a wild, wild success. Wild. Highlights follow:

We had some problems getting the stapler-in-Jello out of the mold. Some of the Jello stayed in the mold. Oh well.

You got to choose what side you were on. I was on Team Pam. So was everybody else.

This was just a great-looking pretzel.

This is while the drama of the episode was unfolding. Look at that drama. Look at it.

The menu.

2007-05-18T00:12:00.001-07:00

The first course was an assortment of sandwiches. They included (1) ham and cheese, which Jim used to eat for lunch every day, (2) tuna, which earned him the Big Tuna nickname, and (3) grilled cheese, which Jim and Pam made on their date on the roof of the building.

Jell-o didn't count as a whole course in itself, but we couldn't just leave it out.

The second course was big pretzels—with an assortment of toppings. I, like Michael, recommend the "Everything" pretzel.

The last course: Angela's brownies, and mint chocolate chip ice cream. Mintchocolatechip. Mintchocolatechip.

You should take him into custardy.

2007-05-17T09:21:00.000-07:00

Getting ready for The Office season finale tonight. The menu also includes big pretzels, tuna sandwiches, and mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Yeah, it's going to be the coolest party ever.

San Francisco: a hill of a city.

2007-05-08T17:52:00.000-07:00

I'm in San Francisco now.

I thought about making a big, non-sequitur list of things I love about the city, like Libby or Becca would do.

Then I thought about taking pictures of myself in triumphant poses by famous city landmarks, like Zack.

I even thought about not posting anything, like Patrick, or about wearing tight pants, like Stanton.

But instead I just decided to post and say that I like San Francisco, and that I want to live here for the rest of my life.

An open letter to Dr. Ed Adams, BYU Communications Department Head (I also sent it to him).

2007-05-08T17:16:00.000-07:00

Dr. Adams,

I've just graduated from the Advertising program, and I wanted to send you my thanks and thoughts about the program. I hope I'm not violating protocol by writing you directly.

I'm in San Francisco now doing freelance work, and in a month I'm headed off to the most prestigious internship in the country, for a copywriter. I worked in the Ad Lab for my whole last year at BYU, and while interviewing for work here in one of advertising's main hubs I'm finding that my Ad Lab experience has made me more prepared than many other job candidates, including some with more industry experience under their belts.

I visited a prominent ad agency today to have lunch with another Ad Lab alumnus. To his colleagues, he didn't introduce me as a "school buddy" or even "former co-worker", although those are true; he introduced me as having worked in the Ad Lab, because of the clout it holds there. Someone referred to it in response as "the Harvard of advertising schools." It's only now that I'm away from BYU that I'm able to see how remarkable the advertising program is, and especially the Ad Lab. It's one of a kind, Dr. Adams, and it's likely preparing students for jobs better than any other undergraduate advertising program in the country.

The advertising faculty is outstanding all around, but both you and I know that the Ad Lab has reached its level of national acclaim because of Jeff Sheets. He's done a tremendous amount for my future, as well as (I'm sure) a great number of other students. He's done so much, and he can use all the help you can send his way.

I don't know how much of this actually gets back to you, so I wanted to let you know how well-respected the advertising program, and especially the Ad Lab, is in the industry.

RP
Former Creative Director, BYU Ad Lab

The last few weeks, in factoids.

2007-05-01T10:39:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy few weeks.

For one, I graduated from college. It's an accomplishment, even though it doesn't necessarily feel like a big one. It at least feels somewhat more imortant than high school graduation. I always wondered about those people who make a huge deal out of their high school graduation (limos, etc.)... at the time I really hoped it wouldn't be the hugest accomplishment of my life.
Dick Cheney spoke at commencement, and the negative hype didn't amount to much. Cheney's speech was relevant and appropriate and, really, pretty good. I thought it was enjoyable, regardless of how I feel about his political views and actions.
I said goodbye to a lot of my friends. I'm not actually gone from Provo yet, but I will be in a couple of days, and I've already seen many of them for the last time (for now, anyway). I didn't get emotional at the Convocation, though some did, and it didn't really strike me that I wouldn't see some of these people again until I said goodbye to Jeff and left the Ad Lab for the last time in my college career.
I packed up all my stuff. I sure have a lot of stuff. You don't realize how much stuff you have until you consider putting it all into a Toyota Corolla. I'm glad I didn't actually have to.
489 presentations came and went. It was a lot of work, and overall quite a good experience. I've given sufficient props to my group, but that's not going to stop me from doing it again here. Props.
My parents came out for graduation. They're rad. It reminded me that when I've been married for 29 years I want to be exactly like them.
My brother got engaged, and I can't express how cool that is.
I went on a whirlwind trip to New York, to present two campaigns to the Ad Council's Creative Review Committee. It was pretty cool... the committee itself was made of up of important people int the New York advertising world... CEO's and all that. The bummer was that we took a redeye flight to get there, and then a redeye flight to get back the next night. And when the flight left late from JFK and we missed the connecting flight in Vegas and had to wait until the next morning, I was glad I was spending the time with cool people. We had a great time.
I've become a believer, if I wasn't before, that the Lord is keenly aware of the tiny things that are going on in our lives. He knows our hopes and dreams and He wants us to achieve them, too. He does things on His own timetable for His own reasons. And if we trust in that, He'll make things better for us than we ever could have possibly arranged ourselves.

Almost over.

2007-04-14T00:23:00.000-07:00

489 presentations are on Monday. 489 is my capstone. It's kind of a big deal.

If you're reading this, you should probably come. Monday at 12:30 in the Varsity Theater. It's an ad campaign that my group assembled for Spore, a new video game by EA. The folks from EA are flying in for the presentations.

Also, our presentation is going to be rad.

--------

Now, some late-night rambling.

I've put so much into this project over the last semester (and the last few weeks) that I'm not sure what I'll do with myself when it's over. My other classes are pretty much over. I think, mostly, I'm going to sleep.

My group for the project has been unreal. I had no idea that any ten people could dedicate themselves to something in this way. And they've got skills. Man, they've got the skills. I kneel humbly before their advertising prowess. They make me look way good.

In a month my friends and I are going to be sprinkled throughout some of the most prestigious agencies and brands in the country, just like we've dreamed of. I think most of us have accomplished more in school than we expected. I know I have.

And the fun part is that it all starts over again—except it's not school this time, it's the rest of my life.

Seniority.

2007-04-07T19:48:00.000-07:00

Went to Senior Celebration on campus yesterday.

Got a free t-shirt.

Can you spot the error?

Either nobody proofread the shirts, or they were giving out last year's.

Hey, I gotcha.

2007-04-05T23:00:00.000-07:00

I have a couple of friends who are struggling with some things right now. You know who you are, and you can't imagine I don't know what's going on. I mean, you write about it in your respective blogs.

You should also know that I totally understand. And I've got your back. It's a hard time of year. If you need anything at all, let me know, even if it's just somebody to listen.

Sorry to everyone else for the vague post.

Our fridge.

2007-04-01T22:08:00.000-07:00

Our fridge has been getting colder lately. Nobody turned the coldness up; rather, we've turned it down a few times. But it's still getting colder.

This morning I put a gallon of milk in the microwave, to thaw it enough to pour over cereal. It was frozen solid. Milk. Frozen solid. Into a jug-shaped piece of milk ice.

But this evening was when it all came to a head. I was making breakfast burritos. I've made breakfast burritos quite a few times, so I have a pretty good idea of the workflow: bacon takes the longest, so you start it first, and you do the eggs last because their quickest. So, as is custom, I got everything else ready before I cooked the eggs.

But when I got the carton of eggs out of the fridge, they had frozen. The eggs. All but two had frozen and exploded... I'm guessing the freezing caused the insides to expand to the point of breaking the shell. One egg was okay. The other was frozen, but not broken—so I peeled the shell off of the outside, and had a frozen raw egg. An eggsicle. An egg ice cube. It was so gross.

This is not a picture of it. But this is exactly what it looked like. My priority at the time was more about throwing it away than preserving its image for posterity. But Google provided this image, and it does it pretty good justice.

Vote for my shirt!

2007-03-16T16:30:00.000-07:00

The "Kiss Me, I Like Kissing" shirt is now up on Threadless. You should go vote for it, right now, by clicking on the image above.

It'll have you set up an account if you don't have one, but it is free and just takes a second. Then, vote for the shirt. If you're awesome, you'll check the "I'd Buy It" box and then click 5 to give it the highest rating. You can post comments, too.

Thanks!

Man, these are pretty.

2007-03-10T15:03:00.000-08:00

They're done. And they're amazing. Shirts this cool should be illegal in such a conservative state.

Come pick yours up whenever, I have them here. I washed them and dried them too, so don't worry about that. St. Patrick's Day is a week from today (the 17th) -- I think that since it's on a Saturday, I'm going to wear mine on Friday to get maximum visibility. But it's up to you.

Okay, you have a few days.

2007-03-03T00:05:00.000-08:00

There's a small delay on the shirts. I was keeping some of my chemicals in the fridge, and they were accidentally thrown out during a thorough fridge-cleaning. But don't fret--they'll still get done before St. Patrick's Day.

This is your big chance if you want a shirt but haven't gotten out to buy one yet. Just get it to me soon.

From a conversation today.

2007-03-01T17:03:00.001-08:00

dimmi: you know what would be fantastic?

me: what?

dimmi: if all of us wound up in the same rest home.

Rejected Titles for Disney/Pixar's "Monsters, Inc."

2007-02-28T18:24:00.000-08:00

Monsters, LLC.
Monsters & Partners
Monsters & Sons
Monsters, etc.
Monsters & Company
Wal-Mart, Inc.

A call for shirts.

2007-02-24T10:14:00.000-08:00

It's time to make the shamrock shirts. If you weren't cool enough to see them the first time, see them here.

If you'd like one, bring me a shirt to print on, and like $5 for materials. I recommend a light-colored shirt, because the dark green will be printed on it (and then the white). Mine is a light green, like in the picture. I think that's the optimal color. Don't get white, though, because white's dumb. And these shirts are going to be awesome.

Deadline is a week from today--March 3rd. If all goes well, I'll be printing them that day. If you don't bring me a shirt, you don't get one, because I'm not making an extra trip to the store to buy you a shirt.

Edit: Girls, you should get girl-cut shirts. If you insist on wearing an unflattering shirt, I can just print on a garbage bag for you, or something.

Sundries.

2007-02-22T23:07:00.000-08:00

Here're some things I've been meaning to scan and post for a while.

This is a magnet that came stuck to our phone book. It's for a plumber, and it's now on our fridge.

This is the interesting part, though. I don't know what "punctural" means, but it doesn't sound like something I'd want a plumber doing to my pipes.

Also, for your reading pleasure, here's my first-ever issue of the newsletter of the Bacon Lover's Club. Click on it for a larger, readable version.

It enchants me to no end that it has a picture of the curemaster on it. Awesome.

About real life.

2007-02-21T19:05:00.000-08:00

I was noticing, as I was walking to my car in the dark after class, that it's been a long time since anyone jumped out of a shadow and grabbed me, clasping their hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream. I guess that just doesn't happen much anymore.

I've also never actually been in a fight that took place on top of a moving train. I've never had to knock the gun out of a guy's hands while my own hands were cuffed, and I've never walked into a room and heard the beeping of a live bomb. And I've never, like Tony Giardino, held onto that bottom part of a helicopter. You know that part?

I'm not sure why my life is so atypical in these ways--maybe I need to get out more.

St. Valentine would be pleased.

2007-02-11T23:25:00.000-08:00

It was The Me Show again this weekend. First was the ward talent show on Friday, then I spoke in Sacrament meeting today. If people in the ward didn't know me before, hopefully they do now.

This is to let you, the reader, know that your Valentine's Day plans should include coming to the BYU basketball game, where I'll be doing another yo-yo halftime. If you didn't come to the gymnastics meet, you can redeem yourself by coming to this one. No word yet how many people I can get on the guest list, but you can use an all-sports pass.

Plus, come on. It's not like you have plans. Wednesday, 7 o'clock.

Listen up, you two.

2007-02-08T23:30:00.000-08:00

A couple of shout-outs to my friends who will soon be residents of Chain Chomp Towers.

Just like Grandma's.

2007-02-05T19:06:00.000-08:00

My Grandma has a technique for giving us food when we go to her house--there's always something that "needs to be eaten up." She's always got something in the queue that's in this condition. The best was when we showed up to her house and she had a whole lamb roast that "needed to be eaten up." Just like all those other times, when you have extra lamb roasts laying around.

It was very welcome today, though, when I heard the same comment from my roommate Chris. His family lives nearbyish, and somehow he ended up with 6 or 7 extra pieces of prime rib. And they needed to be eaten up.

Sat on their park bench like bookends.

2007-02-03T19:41:00.000-08:00

I've gotta say, I love my 489 group.

Any time you can debate with the emotion and intensity which we did yesterday and still be on speaking terms, you've got something special. And when you can do that to build things up instead of tear things down, you have the potential to do great things.

I've spent all of my academic career (this is year 16 of formal schooling, 17 if you count kindergarten) waiting for the time when group projects would be really productive--when everybody in the group know's what's going on, and has the motivation to do it; simply, a group where everybody brings something to the table. And now, in my last semester, I've finally gotten there.

I think I'd trust any one of these people with my life.

Focused.

2007-01-29T22:45:00.000-08:00

We're starting focus groups for 489 tomorrow. This presents an excellent opportunity to tell my story about being a participant in a focus group.

I was in a relationship at the time, and was walking across campus holding hands with my significant other. We were stopped, somewhat awkwardly, by a guy who observed that we appeared to be in a relationship, and asked if we would participate in a focus group. We agreed--there were free movie tickets on the line.

When we arrived, we were taken into separate focus groups with others of our same gender. And once there, the focus group turned out to be about shopping for engagement rings. She and I were certainly not yet that far along in our relationship, and the problem of choosing the right jeweler was not one that had ever crossed my mind. While the other guys told about ring shopping, I had nothing to contribute. And I felt really, really awkward, the whole time.

But in the end, it wasn't a total loss. At least I got the free movie tickets.

A new website. It's cool, too.

2007-01-27T23:54:00.000-08:00

My portfolio's online now. You're welcome to go take a gander at it, if it interests you at all.
www.rogerpimentel.com

It'll just take a minute.

2007-01-26T09:04:00.000-08:00

If you have a second, will you help me out and take this survey? It's for my capstone class, and we need people who aren't into video games to take it.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=286803198011

Thanks!

For your consideration.

2007-01-22T16:58:00.000-08:00

It's getting to be time to screen shirts again.

I've been wanting to do this shirt design for a while, so it's going to be first. But I'm open to suggestions on layout, colors, design, etc. so I'm putting it up here for comment. And if you end up wanting one, I'll just have you bring me a shirt and chip in on the chemicals, and I'll screen it for you.

Without further ado, two drafts (you can click on them to see them giant size):

So far I like the weathered look, but again, I'm up for suggestions. This is going to be my first two-color print--and I like the idea of doing dark green on a lighter green shirt.

Thoughts?

An open letter to our water pipes.

2007-01-20T11:20:00.000-08:00

Please please please, please please, don't freeze again, please please please.

Yours,
R

3/24 and 4/24

2007-01-16T08:27:00.000-08:00

The 24 experiment continues to go well. I'm told that yesterday's two episodes are the logical progression from previous seasons--once you've had a few thousand close calls, once in a while a bomb has to go off. And it seems that as long as you're having a bomb go off, it might as well be nuclear.

In what I've seen so far, there seems to be a pretty subtle (but surprising) undercurrent of liberal political agenda. The President is doing everything he can to stop the attacks, and hasn't even looked outside of American borders for an enemy. I think that pacifism might stop next week, though, because the preview said something about retaliation. It's just interesting to contrast President Palmer's response to President Bush's response in roughly similar situations.

So far I have to favor the fictional president.

1/24 and 2/24

2007-01-14T20:31:00.000-08:00

So, I made a decision to watch "24" this season. I'd only seen one episode before tonight. I'm making a point of it, because I like to be up to date on stuff. And my roommate Angry Block really likes it.

I just finished watching the 2-hour season debut, and it's pretty cool. There's no mistaking why it's so popular: it's full of action and suspense and Jack Bauer biting people. Watching two hours of it was like watching an action movie--but an action movie that doesn't waste its time with romance or any feelgood crap. The characters are established, the setting is simple. And these two hours were an exception in that it went so long before anybody died.

It's all red and no yellow. Not that I'd know anything about that.

Also, somebody posted a plug for the Cecil shirts on Dave Barry's 24 blog last year. I don't know who it was, but it's on this page:
http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2006/04/24_1.html
It'll save you time if you hit ctrl-F and search for "cecil" instead of scrolling through.

Empowering myself daily, through a rigorous brushing regimen.

2007-01-13T00:48:00.000-08:00

My toothpaste tastes really bad. There's nothing wrong with it, and I have to assume that it cleans my teeth well--it's just a disgusting flavor.

It looks like it should be good. It comes in what appears to be a galvanized steel tube, showing the industrial-grade strength of its cleaning. The flavor is (I kid you not) "Empowermint". I thought for sure that would be a winner.

But the real problem here is not that my toothpaste tastes bad, but that I am unable to throw it away until it is completely gone. Not until every molecule of paste is out of that tube will I be able to part with it. I'd sooner squeeze it all into the sink and throw away the empty tube than throw away a tube with perfectly good toothpaste in it.

I even looked at other toothpastes when I was at the store on Monday. But I knew I wouldn't buy one.

Recommended just for me.

2007-01-11T19:03:00.000-08:00

I bought one of my textbooks online today. It was the text for my typography class, and I got it from Amazon.

You know, though, how when you buy something from Amazon, it looks at what you're buying and what you've bought before, and it recommends other stuff? It recommended something for me. A book. Called "You Are Worthless."

I'll just go to Barnes & Noble next time.

More.

2007-01-10T20:52:00.000-08:00

It's been requested that I put up the rest of my yo-yo publicity pics. I just have two more.

First the straight-laced one, for conservative clients who like smiley, clean-cut young men:

And finally the dramatic shot.

I've gotten a few names from folks who are coming to the show on Friday. If you still want to come, let me know by midday tomorrow (Thursday) so I can add you and send the list off to the good folks at BYU Athletics.

Friday. You should come.

2007-01-09T18:11:00.001-08:00

On Friday I'm going to be performing my yo-yo show at the BYU women's gymnastics meet. If you'd like to go, I can put you on the guest list and you'll get in free. They told me I can bring as many people as I want, so don't hold back. I just need the names of anybody who'd like to go.

The meet is at 7:00, this Friday (the 12th). I'll be performing after the first rotation, so probably like 7:20.

It should be pretty rad. See you there...

Another breaking news story, brought to you by the Daily Universe

2007-01-09T17:02:00.000-08:00

This headline made today's paper:

Fry Sauce: A Tradition of Utah Cuisine

This might beat the story about whether students prefer bagels or Jamba Juice.

I thought I wouldn't like this.

2007-01-06T12:37:00.000-08:00

You've probably seen this game--Guitar Hero. I played it yesterday, and I was pretty sure I'd hate it. The jist is that it's just like DDR, except that instead of doing things with your feet, you "play" them on this guitar thing. You don't look all that cool when you're playing it, unless you're totally rocking out. But it was really fun.

The cool thing is that you play real songs... good ones, too. Mostly classic rock. Like, I walked in and Mike was playing "Carry On My Wayward Son," by Kansas. It was really cool. I mean, you can play Freebird. Freebird.

I think it was a good match for me, too. I play the guitar. And hand-eye coordination is kind of my thing. But if you get the chance to play it, give it a crack. Even if the other guy playing it looks dorky.

And now, an art project.

2007-01-02T22:41:00.000-08:00

I used some Christmas money to upgrade my screenprinting equipment, to make t-shirts. To be clear, the Cecil shirts are printed by a company in Pleasant Grove; this is stuff to make shirts myself, which turns out to be a huge kick.

Here's the maiden voyage. I made these for my family, as well as my uncle's family, who I lived with this summer:

The setup was a lot of work. It turns out that photo emulsion is a pretty involved process, but it does allow you to get a lot of detail. Before I was cutting out stencils with an xacto knife, so this was a huge step up. Once it was set up, though, it was really easy to run off a million prints. The only inhibitor at that point is cost. What I think I'll do in the future is let people know when I'm running shirts, and anybody that wants to get in on it can just bring a shirt and chip in on ink. I was so stoked at how fast they went when everything was set up.

The other fun part was that to cure the ink, it has to get up to 300 degrees. I solved this problem by personally baking each one of these shirts, in my mom's oven, at 300 degrees.

These pictures don't do them justice, either. They turned out really nice.

Out with the old.

2006-12-31T22:53:00.000-08:00

The clock rolled over to midnight a few minutes ago, and a new year began. It's not going to make a lot of things different--mostly I'm going to be writing the wrong year on things for a while. The change is enough, though, to mark a time to reflect.

I'm the kind of guy that is never satisfied to be living in the present, and instead dedicates all his attention to where he'd like to be in the future. And yet, when I find that I've moved into the future I've been blessed way beyond what I'd hoped for before, and I realize how low I'd been aiming before. I've been so blessed. And a year ago, I'd have never thought things would be going so well for me now.

I'm grateful for a lot of people and what I've learned from them. It's tradition to list those people, and I know that I always read those lists carefully to see if I've made someone's awesome-people list. I'm pretty sure I'd leave someone off, though, so rest assured that if you're reading this blog then you'd have been included, and if you feel that you deserve a special dispensation above other less-important people, then pretend that I've also noted that here.

I'm not the kind of guy that says this kind of thing well, or often enough, but thanks. Thanks for being who you are and doing what you do for me.

Chocolate Tasting, Day 3

2006-12-31T00:03:00.000-08:00

The results are in! Let's take a look.

It was a tough fight, right to the end. The lame chocolates, including the one that tasted like peas, were out, and it was down to the all-stars. The kings. The Contenders.

Kudos to the Belgians, who placed second for the second year in a row. A solid country, I must say--maybe not #1 material, but they're hanging in there. Same with Spain--#4 two years in a row now--and hey, look at Papua New Guinea, the Cinderella team! Hitting the top three!

Perugina, Italy (??%)
Guylian, Belgium (60%)
Daskalides, Papua New Guinea (72%)
Valor, Spain (70%)

But most of all... congratulations to Italy, this year's Greatest Nation in the World!

You should probably read this right now.

2006-12-30T09:12:00.000-08:00

http://www.deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,650219029,00.html

Maybe it wasn't so bad.

2006-12-29T23:53:00.000-08:00

Since returning from my mission, I've looked back at my teenage years as a reasonably undesirable time--a time of social awkwardness and rampant emotions and intolerable high school. I don't think I'm necessarily wrong for thinking that, but I'm starting to put it into perspective.

I was at my Grandma's this evening with a great deal of extended family, and headlining among the hubbub were three of my cousins, all sixteen years old. I noticed them especially because they were having a blast. I was having a good time--everybody was having a good time--but they were having a really good time. And it made me revisit, nostagically, my teenage years. And I figured out what the difference is.

When I was a teenager, I had all the same awkwardness and insecurities as I do now, but they didn't matter and I knew it.

Girls were a point of concern, but I also was aware (at least subconsciously) that I was in a social training ground, and that I likely wasn't going to pick out my future wife at the time. School was a concern, but I'd learned through experience that good grades were easy to get if you played the game, and I knew well that my high school GPA would soon become moot. Finances were a concern, but not really--I only really worked during the summers, and I didn't have any real expenses outside of going to the movies and buying Christmas presents once a year.

These things have all come to a head now, though, and that's what makes now different from my care-free teenage years. It's time to play ball: I'm looking for a girl to marry, graduating college, and looking to nail down a good job that will start me on a pleasantly prosperous career. And it's all really, really hard.

I never thought I'd look back fondly on being a teenager. But maybe it wasn't as awful as I thought.

Chocolate Tasting, Day 2

2006-12-25T17:05:00.001-08:00

A dramatic day.

Perugina, Italy (??%)
Daskalides, Papua New Guinea (72%)
Guylian, Belgium (60%)
Valor, Spain (70%)
Hershey's Extra Dark, U.S. (60%)
Ghiradelli, U.S. (72%)

But what does it all mean? Who will be the Greatest Nation in the World?

Perugina made a big push today--rising from #6 yesterday (and barely qualifying for this round) to holding a significant lead in first place. It looks unbeatable from here. The bad news is that the Americans pulled in dead last, and won't qualify for the finals. We decided to advance four chocolates to the finals because the gap between 3 and 4 was pretty small. So really, only the Americans got cut.

Tune in tomorrow to discover the identity of the Greatest Nation in the World.

Chocolate Tasting, Day 1

2006-12-24T00:29:00.000-08:00

Every year, my family has a chocolate tasting. We get lots of different dark chocolates, from all different countries, and determine a winner through a thoroughly scientific process. The purpose is twofold: (1) To eat a lot of chocolate, and (2) to determine the Greatest Nation in the World. Last year's winner? Russia.

We've taken to doing it in several rounds, with several chocolates eliminated each time. This year, like last year, will be three rounds. We started with twelve different chocolates, and today was Day One. Six advanced to tomorrow's round. Three will then advance to the Finals on Christmas Day.

We (each of the five members of my family) rank the chocolates with an ordinal system, based on our own individual criteria. Here's how they fared. Format is Brand Name, Country of Origin (Percent of Cocoa Solids):

Valor, Spain (70%)
Daskalides, Papua New Guinea (72%)
Hershey's Extra Dark, U.S. (60%)
Guylian, Belgium (60%)
Ghiradelli, U.S. (72%)
Perugina, Italy (??%)
Hershey's Cacao Reserve, U.S. (65%)
Villars, Switzerland (72%)
Korkunov, Russia (72%) - Last year's winner
Droste, Holland (75%)
Scharffen Berger, U.S. (60%)
Lindt, Switzerland (70%)

Allow me to point out the highlights: The U.S. still has two in the running. I think we've still got a shot at being the Greatest Nation in the World. Also, look what happened to the Russians. They've sure gone downhill in just one year.

Tune in tomorrow for further results.

Yes, some dreams come true. And yes, some dreams fall through.

2006-12-22T22:49:00.000-08:00

My favorite movie rendition of Dickens's Christmas classic is The Muppet Christmas Carol, hands down. It has the right characters and charming humor to deliver on the Christmas message without being sappy. There are other good ones too: I love the scene in Mickey's Christmas Carol where Bob Cratchit (played by Mickey) slices up a single pea as his family's holiday dinner. Regardless, though, the Muppet version is the best.

Do you remember the scene with Belle? She's young Scrooge's fiancée, and she's lost faith in him after years after passed and they remain unmarried. He gives excuses: business is poor, they don't have enough to buy a decent home. His excuses are lame, and she sees right through him, so he reminds her, "This is for you." He insists that all the thing he's doing that are causing her pain are actually things that will be beneficial to her. And she dumps him on the spot.

Watching this movie again today, I realized that I fear turning into young Scrooge more than anything. I fear becoming so engrossed in the technical details of something (anything) that I'll lose sight of what's most important (i.e., interpersonal relationships, esp. with my future wife). Most of all, I fear becoming that guy that has made his work so important that the other aspects of his life struggle. I have no qualms with doing that now--young and single is the time to lose myself in my work, so that I can afford to not do it later--but it rests on the assumption that I'll be able to live differently later.

And I wonder if I've made irreversible mistakes already.

There comes a moment in your life
Like a window, and you see
Your future there before you
And how perfect life can be
But adventure calls with unheard voices
Willing you away
Be careful or you may regret
The choice you make someday

I am a mortal... and liable to fall.

2006-12-20T23:42:00.000-08:00

They walked along the road, Scrooge recognising every gate, and post, and tree; until a little market-town appeared in the distance, with its bridge, its church, and winding river. Some shaggy ponies now were seen trotting towards them with boys upon their backs, who called to other boys in country gigs and carts, driven by farmers. All these boys were in great spirits, and shouted to each other, until the broad fields were so full of merry music, that the crisp air laughed to hear it!
“These are but shadows of the things that have been,” said the Ghost.

I had a truly transcendent experience a couple of days ago. I think it will be hard to explain, but here goes.

We had a ward activity catered by the Cannon Center, and so as the financial clerk it became my duty to pick up the bill from the Cannon Center and enter it into the computer before I left town. Going into the Cannon Center again, though, really struck me as strange. I spent a lot of time there my freshman year, and stepping in there again was like stepping five years back in time.

I didn't see anybody I knew as I walked through the cafeteria--I wouldn't, I don't know any freshmen--but it was still the same groups, made up of the same people. I had only good memories associated with the place, and especially with Christmastime in Helaman Halls. I had time then, and I played a lot and didn't worry about careers and futures and girls and those kinds of things. It was a peaceful time. Perhaps a more innocent time. It was as though I had been visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past.

I don't wish I had it back, necessarily. But it was a pleasant set of memories to reflect on.

Girly pop songs I heard on the 10-hour drive home that I fantasized were written about me.

2006-12-20T23:33:00.000-08:00

Avril Lavigne - Sk8er Boi

Girly pop songs I heard on the 10-hour drive home that I felt may have been written about me.

2006-12-20T23:32:00.000-08:00

Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone
Michelle Branch - All You Wanted
Norah Jones - Cold, Cold Heart

Joanna Nawesome.

2006-11-06T15:26:00.000-08:00

It's my duty to post a concert review. If you haven't already, read Optimistic's fully adequate review. Mine will just be frosting on top of that.

First of all, Joanna was a different kind of person that I'd imagined. This is a pretty new picture of her here, on the right, and it makes her look like some outrageous Native-American-themed tree-hugger. But she's not. This picture actually conjures ideas of Bjork, even outside of the singing realm--the Bjork that wears waterfowl to formal events. But Joanna wasn't like that at all.

She was bashful, and it was really charming. She cuddled right up to her harp and all but blushed when we clapped. It was really quite refreshing, contrasted with the rock star demeanor.

That being said, once she started playing, she grooved. She started with a few tunes from The Milk-Eyed Mender., and it really moved. It had more syncopation and boogie than comes through on the album, and it really got you moving in your seat. It felt vaguely funk-influenced. Just barely. Regardless, it was the funkiest harp-playing I've ever heard.

The stuff with the band was pretty cool, too. I was worried that it would drown out, or at least take attention off of, the harp, but the harp still remained front and center (musically, as well as spatially). The instrumentation (guitar/banjo, guitar/mandolin, accordian/saw, and drums) gave it a very indie feel, but the album disagrees--it's with an orchestra, and it has a definite movie soundtrack feel. They're both good... they're just surprisingly different.

Overall, the concert was terrific. Even better than I expected, and I had pretty high expectations for it. The best part was that it was great simply on the merits of the music--it didn't need any on-stage antics to make it good. It was superb all on its own.

Also, as a point of interest, Joanna's one year older than me.

Mixed Metaphors.

2006-10-31T15:16:00.000-08:00

If you're not going to grab the bull by the horns while the iron is in the fire, then get off the pot.

I ran across this beautiful blend of several metaphors years ago in something I read--Dave Barry, probably, or someone similar. I pull it out every now and again when such a sentence is needed, i.e., not very often.

However, I heard a new one this week, and I was blown away by how seamlessly it made it into conversation. I was at L'Afro's while she was being home taught, and the home teacher busted it out, apparently on the fly:

Sometimes you have to turn the other cheek, walk two miles, and give him your coat.

It had to be premeditated. There's no way to do that on the fly. Wow.

Identity crisis... sort of.

2006-10-16T15:23:00.000-07:00

I stopped wearing my watch a while ago.

I don't remember what the circumstances were. It was probably a very practical change--maybe it was causing physical discomfort--because it's always been for practical reasons that I've worn a watch. I like to think that I'm a punctual person ("punctual" here reads as "absolutely obsessive about time"), and it used to be a catastrophe waiting to happen any day I didn't wear my watch. But I haven't worn it since. And it's been weeks.

It's true that my watch isn't my only source of time anymore, so it's less of a big deal. I can check the time on my phone whenever I want. Still, though, it's the principle of the matter. I'm not a watch-wearer anymore. I don't wear a watch.

I feel like it's made me some sort of hippie, some sort of Non-Caring-About-Time Guy, a person unfettered by time or restraints of any sort. I'm worried. Next I'm going to grow a goatee, probably, and stop wearing shoes. And start caring a lot more about whales.

And the problem is I like not wearing my watch.

Leave the Frosty alone.

2006-10-12T23:11:00.000-07:00

I finally had a vanilla "Frosty" tonight, at Wendy's. I put "Frosty" in quotes because what they are calling a vanilla Frosty is not a Frosty at all. Let's be honest--it's just vanilla soft-serve ice cream. And while I like vanilla soft-serve ice cream, it's not a Frosty.

Nor will I ever agree that a Frosty is just chocolate soft-serve ice cream, so don't even try.

The other thing that I need to bring to your attention is Line Rider. I've spent a great amount of time with it lately, and so should you. The jist is that you draw the shape of a hill with the pencil tool, and then hit Play--and the cool guy on a sled goes sledding down the shape you've just made. He can go over jumps and everything, it's awesome.

Then, once you've played with it a while, check out this video and this video. Only after you've tried it can you appreciate how cool these videos are. And the best part is that their existence proves that there are people out there wasting more time than I am.

The best thirteen bucks I've ever spent.

2006-09-22T17:11:00.000-07:00

I saw Flogging Molly in Salt Lake last night. And it was the best thirteen bucks I've ever spent.

They played all my favorite songs, and I almost couldn't handle being in the audience. I was giddy. And I jigged my heart out. It was that good.

First, reviews of the opening bands:

Zox - There were a few interesting things about this band, and none of them were the music. The singer looked like Napoleon Dynamite, and the drummer looked like he would fit better in an 80's hair band (we're talking tank-top and big hair, it was awesome). The guy playing the electric violin was pretty cool--again, not to listen to, but to watch. Their best song was a Pixies cover.
Bedouin Soundclash - This group has a cool name, but I can't say enough bad things about them. They were weaksauce Clash-wannabes, and they were in love with the echo effect (both on the guitar and the mic). They played for way too long, and that's the bottom line.

My guess for the song that FM would start with was Tobacco Island, but they came out of the gates with Screaming at the Wailing Wall. And it was unbelievable. As soon as the music started, it doubled your heart rate and removed your inhibitions. It was cool. And everybody was into it.

One of the best things about the band, it seems, is that they all contribute equally, and they're all equally passionate about it. Above all else, you get a tremendous feeling of energy from the music and from the stage. I appreciate the way that the sound fuses together--you can distinguish very few individual instrument when they're all playing together, because they seem to play as one instrument.

I almost lost all continence when they played Drunken Lullabies, which may be my favorite song ever. It's also the song I always yo-yo to, when possible.

The front man (acoustic guitar and vocals) is way cool, and he appears to be like 45. His first comment on stage was about what a travesty it was that they were making him drink Guinness out of a plastic cup. He would briefly mention a song's origin and meaning before playing them, which was really cool, and there seemed to really only be a few themes: his mom, his dad, drinking, God, and the Devil.

Overall jist: Hands down, this was the most exhiliarating performance I've seen by anybody. They really know how to play to a crowd. And it just might be the best show I've ever seen. Go buy all their albums. And buy me tickets to see them in Las Vegas on St. Patrick's Day (can you imagine?!).

If I were a Fig Newton...

2006-09-22T16:55:00.000-07:00

Names No Parent Should Ever Inflict on a Child

2006-09-19T21:01:00.000-07:00

Hubert
Herbert
Pubert

My weird story.

2006-09-17T19:55:00.000-07:00

So here's the story I wrote for class, by request. I'm a little self-conscious about it because I only had 25 minutes to write it, so don't mock it (or me). The first part is the prompt from the teacher, and then the rest is my part. The line of hyphens marks the change. Without further ado...

The Boyfriend

The last time Kayla saw Doug Marshall he was in his casket, so she was surprised to see her one-time boyfriend strolling across the campus and holding hands with a girl Kayla vaguely recognized as another student in her history class. Tall, tanned, and a little more buffed out than she remembered him, Doug looked anything but dead, but she was sure it was Doug. Kayla even followed the pair until they disappeared into the parking lot to make sure. All the while her heart was beating at a frightening pace and she was sweating as if she had just finished a 10k run. Now she wondered if she were losing her mind. She had been at Doug’s funeral almost a year ago, hugged and tried futilely to console his grieving parents (Doug was an only child), cringed at the overly sentimental obituary in the newspaper, and sadly eliminated his name and address from her telephone book.

Their dating had a brief but memorable episode in Kayla’s busy social life. At first she had found him sexy and charming, then simply strange. His death had been bizarre as well—as had the funeral. She remembered both events vividly now as she contemplated just how she would verify her conviction that Doug was alive, and apparently doing quite well.

------------------

She was the only one who had seen him die. She had watched the bullets—two of them—as they passed out of the gun smoke and into the night air, seemingly in slow motion, before meeting Doug’s stomach and chest. After that, time compensated by moving more quickly than ever before. She was crying, but she could not go to him. She remained rooted to her spot as Doug laid dying, the air still smelling faintly of .45 smoke and the coldness required to take someone’s life without reason.

It was horrifying, scarring.

The funeral was probably standard fare, but Kayla couldn’t tell. Her grandparents were in great health, and never before had she lost someone close to her. Its light-heartedness was unsettling. Family members laughed as they told stories of Doug’s childhood. His friends remembered and spoke proudly of his accomplishments. But Kayla was alone. She hadn’t known his friends well, that was true, and her own family had passed on the opportunity to attend the funeral, but the emptiness she felt was not the lack of people around her. It was the horrible realization that she had changed; that a part of her was missing.

And the feeling wasn’t new. She’d seen Doug several times since then, really, but not in the way she’d just seen him crossing campus. She’d seen him in her dreams. She’d seen him in the picture she kept framed on her desk, and in the tattered photo of him at 8 years old that she kept in her wallet. She’d seen him in the old notes he’d written her. She’d seen him in the restaurants they’d liked, the places they’d been, and in the night when she felt the most alone. But none of those were like this.

Nor could she tell anyone about what she’d seen. Her parents were already worried about her. She’d tried to talk to her friends about it, but it clearly made them uncomfortable. They were never rude to her, and they still said hello if she would say it first, but the relationship was different. In desperation, she’d made a foolish attempt to talk things over with the counselor at school. The counselor provided counsel, yes, but not good counsel. He’d told Kayla to get help. Professional help. The kind of help intended for crazy people and people who blamed things on their childhood and people who washed their hands over and over and over again until they bled. She was better off alone. She could handle it by herself.

Perhaps it had been another dream today, at school. Now that time had passed, she was skeptical about why she’d panicked like she had. It was going to be okay. She was in control.

No, she wasn’t. Nor was it going to be okay. The memories flooded back and spilled onto her pillowcase in big wet drops. She needed him back. She wasn’t going to make it without him. And that night, alone in the quiet darkness of her bedroom, she couldn’t even remember why she’d shot him.

Six Short Anecdotes from the Last Two Weeks

2006-09-15T18:58:00.000-07:00

1. This one from dimmi's blog.

2. I tried to buy a couple of washcloths from Wal-Mart, as mine somehow got lost in the move. In the attempt, though, I didn't actually end up getting washcloths--they turned out to be hand towels. They were folded up nice and small, but they're really quite big and inconvenient to wash yourself with. So now I need to go back to Wal-Mart.

3. On the second day of Creative Writing class (Engl 218R) we wrote a story from a prompt so the teacher could have a sample of each person's writing. I tried really hard to put a twist at the end of my story, but in doing so managed to write a story that was really creepy and morbid. Fortunately, though, the teacher liked the twist, so I'm saved. I got the story back, too, if you want to read it.

4. In Spring term past I received the assignment to home teach two girls, Holly and Charity, who had just moved into the ward. I got the assignment a few weeks into the term, and then moved out when the term was over, so I only visited them once (one month). Apparently I did a poor job, however, because it turns out that they both have moved into the same new ward as me, and I've been assigned to be their home teacher again. This is really just an Ensign story waiting to happen... I should write it up in something longer than anecdote format.

5. We had the rockingest Movie Night ever this week. We watched Waking Ned Divine, which is already a recipe for success, and we packed the place full. Really. There were 30 people crammed into the living room when people started leaving because there wasn't any more room to sit. So if you didn't get a seat--come earlier next week.

6. If you ever need another PE class to fill out your schedule, take Flexibility (EXSC 125). It's the coolest class ever. So far all we've done is show up to class, and stretch for the class period. That's not all, though--at some point they teach us how to take power naps, and we do that in class (be still my beating heart). I don't know that I necessarily need a lot of instruction in napping (much less napping in class), but I'm always up for honing my skills.

Vote for this... guy.

2006-08-29T09:49:00.000-07:00

Back to Provo tomorrow. It'll be good to get back in the swing of things. I had a nice summer to detox. And now it's time to go tox again. The two things I'm most excited about are (1) cool new Cecil is my Homeboy stuff, and (2) the fall continuation of Movie Night. Around those two things I'll see if I can cram in classes and work.

I scanned this picture below from a mailer my dad showed me. Look really closely at the picture. Then tell me if you'd re-elect this man.

That's really unfortunate.