Mixed Metaphors.

If you're not going to grab the bull by the horns while the iron is in the fire, then get off the pot.

I ran across this beautiful blend of several metaphors years ago in something I read--Dave Barry, probably, or someone similar. I pull it out every now and again when such a sentence is needed, i.e., not very often.

However, I heard a new one this week, and I was blown away by how seamlessly it made it into conversation. I was at L'Afro's while she was being home taught, and the home teacher busted it out, apparently on the fly:

Sometimes you have to turn the other cheek, walk two miles, and give him your coat.

It had to be premeditated. There's no way to do that on the fly. Wow.

Identity crisis... sort of.

I stopped wearing my watch a while ago.

I don't remember what the circumstances were. It was probably a very practical change--maybe it was causing physical discomfort--because it's always been for practical reasons that I've worn a watch. I like to think that I'm a punctual person ("punctual" here reads as "absolutely obsessive about time"), and it used to be a catastrophe waiting to happen any day I didn't wear my watch. But I haven't worn it since. And it's been weeks.

It's true that my watch isn't my only source of time anymore, so it's less of a big deal. I can check the time on my phone whenever I want. Still, though, it's the principle of the matter. I'm not a watch-wearer anymore. I don't wear a watch.

I feel like it's made me some sort of hippie, some sort of Non-Caring-About-Time Guy, a person unfettered by time or restraints of any sort. I'm worried. Next I'm going to grow a goatee, probably, and stop wearing shoes. And start caring a lot more about whales.

And the problem is I like not wearing my watch.

Leave the Frosty alone.

I finally had a vanilla "Frosty" tonight, at Wendy's. I put "Frosty" in quotes because what they are calling a vanilla Frosty is not a Frosty at all. Let's be honest--it's just vanilla soft-serve ice cream. And while I like vanilla soft-serve ice cream, it's not a Frosty.

Nor will I ever agree that a Frosty is just chocolate soft-serve ice cream, so don't even try.

The other thing that I need to bring to your attention is Line Rider. I've spent a great amount of time with it lately, and so should you. The jist is that you draw the shape of a hill with the pencil tool, and then hit Play--and the cool guy on a sled goes sledding down the shape you've just made. He can go over jumps and everything, it's awesome.

Then, once you've played with it a while, check out this video and this video. Only after you've tried it can you appreciate how cool these videos are. And the best part is that their existence proves that there are people out there wasting more time than I am.