Out with the old.

The clock rolled over to midnight a few minutes ago, and a new year began. It's not going to make a lot of things different--mostly I'm going to be writing the wrong year on things for a while. The change is enough, though, to mark a time to reflect.

I'm the kind of guy that is never satisfied to be living in the present, and instead dedicates all his attention to where he'd like to be in the future. And yet, when I find that I've moved into the future I've been blessed way beyond what I'd hoped for before, and I realize how low I'd been aiming before. I've been so blessed. And a year ago, I'd have never thought things would be going so well for me now.

I'm grateful for a lot of people and what I've learned from them. It's tradition to list those people, and I know that I always read those lists carefully to see if I've made someone's awesome-people list. I'm pretty sure I'd leave someone off, though, so rest assured that if you're reading this blog then you'd have been included, and if you feel that you deserve a special dispensation above other less-important people, then pretend that I've also noted that here.

I'm not the kind of guy that says this kind of thing well, or often enough, but thanks. Thanks for being who you are and doing what you do for me.

Chocolate Tasting, Day 3

The results are in! Let's take a look.

It was a tough fight, right to the end. The lame chocolates, including the one that tasted like peas, were out, and it was down to the all-stars. The kings. The Contenders.

Kudos to the Belgians, who placed second for the second year in a row. A solid country, I must say--maybe not #1 material, but they're hanging in there. Same with Spain--#4 two years in a row now--and hey, look at Papua New Guinea, the Cinderella team! Hitting the top three!

1. Perugina, Italy (??%)
2. Guylian, Belgium (60%)
3. Daskalides, Papua New Guinea (72%)
4. Valor, Spain (70%)

But most of all... congratulations to Italy, this year's Greatest Nation in the World!

You should probably read this right now.

http://www.deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,650219029,00.html

Maybe it wasn't so bad.

Since returning from my mission, I've looked back at my teenage years as a reasonably undesirable time--a time of social awkwardness and rampant emotions and intolerable high school. I don't think I'm necessarily wrong for thinking that, but I'm starting to put it into perspective.

I was at my Grandma's this evening with a great deal of extended family, and headlining among the hubbub were three of my cousins, all sixteen years old. I noticed them especially because they were having a blast. I was having a good time--everybody was having a good time--but they were having a really good time. And it made me revisit, nostagically, my teenage years. And I figured out what the difference is.

When I was a teenager, I had all the same awkwardness and insecurities as I do now, but they didn't matter and I knew it.

Girls were a point of concern, but I also was aware (at least subconsciously) that I was in a social training ground, and that I likely wasn't going to pick out my future wife at the time. School was a concern, but I'd learned through experience that good grades were easy to get if you played the game, and I knew well that my high school GPA would soon become moot. Finances were a concern, but not really--I only really worked during the summers, and I didn't have any real expenses outside of going to the movies and buying Christmas presents once a year.

These things have all come to a head now, though, and that's what makes now different from my care-free teenage years. It's time to play ball: I'm looking for a girl to marry, graduating college, and looking to nail down a good job that will start me on a pleasantly prosperous career. And it's all really, really hard.

I never thought I'd look back fondly on being a teenager. But maybe it wasn't as awful as I thought.

Chocolate Tasting, Day 2

A dramatic day.

1. Perugina, Italy (??%)
2. Daskalides, Papua New Guinea (72%)
3. Guylian, Belgium (60%)
4. Valor, Spain (70%)
5. Hershey's Extra Dark, U.S. (60%)
6. Ghiradelli, U.S. (72%)
   

But what does it all mean? Who will be the Greatest Nation in the World?

Perugina made a big push today--rising from #6 yesterday (and barely qualifying for this round) to holding a significant lead in first place. It looks unbeatable from here. The bad news is that the Americans pulled in dead last, and won't qualify for the finals. We decided to advance four chocolates to the finals because the gap between 3 and 4 was pretty small. So really, only the Americans got cut.

Tune in tomorrow to discover the identity of the Greatest Nation in the World.

Chocolate Tasting, Day 1

Every year, my family has a chocolate tasting. We get lots of different dark chocolates, from all different countries, and determine a winner through a thoroughly scientific process. The purpose is twofold: (1) To eat a lot of chocolate, and (2) to determine the Greatest Nation in the World. Last year's winner? Russia.

We've taken to doing it in several rounds, with several chocolates eliminated each time. This year, like last year, will be three rounds. We started with twelve different chocolates, and today was Day One. Six advanced to tomorrow's round. Three will then advance to the Finals on Christmas Day.

We (each of the five members of my family) rank the chocolates with an ordinal system, based on our own individual criteria. Here's how they fared. Format is Brand Name, Country of Origin (Percent of Cocoa Solids):

1. Valor, Spain (70%)
2. Daskalides, Papua New Guinea (72%)
3. Hershey's Extra Dark, U.S. (60%)
4. Guylian, Belgium (60%)
5. Ghiradelli, U.S. (72%)
6. Perugina, Italy (??%)
7. Hershey's Cacao Reserve, U.S. (65%)
8. Villars, Switzerland (72%)
9. Korkunov, Russia (72%) - Last year's winner
10. Droste, Holland (75%)
11. Scharffen Berger, U.S. (60%)
12. Lindt, Switzerland (70%)

Allow me to point out the highlights: The U.S. still has two in the running. I think we've still got a shot at being the Greatest Nation in the World. Also, look what happened to the Russians. They've sure gone downhill in just one year.

Tune in tomorrow for further results.

Yes, some dreams come true. And yes, some dreams fall through.

My favorite movie rendition of Dickens's Christmas classic is The Muppet Christmas Carol, hands down. It has the right characters and charming humor to deliver on the Christmas message without being sappy. There are other good ones too: I love the scene in Mickey's Christmas Carol where Bob Cratchit (played by Mickey) slices up a single pea as his family's holiday dinner. Regardless, though, the Muppet version is the best.

Do you remember the scene with Belle? She's young Scrooge's fiancée, and she's lost faith in him after years after passed and they remain unmarried. He gives excuses: business is poor, they don't have enough to buy a decent home. His excuses are lame, and she sees right through him, so he reminds her, "This is for you." He insists that all the thing he's doing that are causing her pain are actually things that will be beneficial to her. And she dumps him on the spot.

Watching this movie again today, I realized that I fear turning into young Scrooge more than anything. I fear becoming so engrossed in the technical details of something (anything) that I'll lose sight of what's most important (i.e., interpersonal relationships, esp. with my future wife). Most of all, I fear becoming that guy that has made his work so important that the other aspects of his life struggle. I have no qualms with doing that now--young and single is the time to lose myself in my work, so that I can afford to not do it later--but it rests on the assumption that I'll be able to live differently later.

And I wonder if I've made irreversible mistakes already.

There comes a moment in your life
Like a window, and you see
Your future there before you
And how perfect life can be
But adventure calls with unheard voices
Willing you away
Be careful or you may regret
The choice you make someday

I am a mortal... and liable to fall.

They walked along the road, Scrooge recognising every gate, and post, and tree; until a little market-town appeared in the distance, with its bridge, its church, and winding river. Some shaggy ponies now were seen trotting towards them with boys upon their backs, who called to other boys in country gigs and carts, driven by farmers. All these boys were in great spirits, and shouted to each other, until the broad fields were so full of merry music, that the crisp air laughed to hear it!

“These are but shadows of the things that have been,” said the Ghost.

I had a truly transcendent experience a couple of days ago. I think it will be hard to explain, but here goes.

We had a ward activity catered by the Cannon Center, and so as the financial clerk it became my duty to pick up the bill from the Cannon Center and enter it into the computer before I left town. Going into the Cannon Center again, though, really struck me as strange. I spent a lot of time there my freshman year, and stepping in there again was like stepping five years back in time.

I didn't see anybody I knew as I walked through the cafeteria--I wouldn't, I don't know any freshmen--but it was still the same groups, made up of the same people. I had only good memories associated with the place, and especially with Christmastime in Helaman Halls. I had time then, and I played a lot and didn't worry about careers and futures and girls and those kinds of things. It was a peaceful time. Perhaps a more innocent time. It was as though I had been visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past.

I don't wish I had it back, necessarily. But it was a pleasant set of memories to reflect on.

Girly pop songs I heard on the 10-hour drive home that I fantasized were written about me.

• Avril Lavigne - Sk8er Boi

Girly pop songs I heard on the 10-hour drive home that I felt may have been written about me.

• Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone
• Michelle Branch - All You Wanted
• Norah Jones - Cold, Cold Heart