Things we studied in my junior-year high school english class.

• Self-important, hyper-feminist literature selected by the teacher to compensate for the feelings of hopelessness and conformity caused her solitary, oppressed life.

• "The Awakening," by Kate Chopin.

Three similar acronyms I have heard, two of which are vulgar and one of which is pleasant.

• BFD

• BFE

• BFF
  

I must have missed the first ten.

Saw Ocean's 13 yesterday.

It's good. If you liked Ocean's 11, you'll like this one almost as much, because it's a rewrite of the same movie. Casino heist for revenge. It's a good premise. Then load down the movie with Hollywood superstars, and it's hard to go wrong. This one's a bit more convoluted than 11, and less exciting, but it's not bad.

I need to provide some background before I say anything more about 13, so let's leave that for a moment and talk a bit about 11.

Ocean's 11 was the epitome of cool. The music was cool, the visual stylings were cool, and it starred a bunch of cool guys wearing cool clothes. And they said cool things. It was cool, through and through. And I think it's sort of a tribute to the more golden years of Hollywood.

And I know it's a remake of a Rat Pack movie, but I'm not talking about that at all.

What I'm talking about more is how Ocean's 11 is like an old Fred Astaire movie. Fred Astaire did three things well: sing, dance, and wear a tuxedo. And he did them very well. Thus, in every movie he's in he ends up singing and dancing at some point. And, inexplicably, the plot of the movie always makes it necessary for his character to be wearing a tuxedo the whole time. In several movies he played a performer whose job it was to sing, dance, and wear a tuxedo. It was a recipe for success because he was the best at it, so they wrote his movies around him.

Ocean's 11, I think, is a lot like that... only more so because you bring in a bunch of superstars. George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, Bernie Mac, etc... any of these guys can (and do) star alone in their own movies. And the first three listed can be pretty cool. Ocean's 11 gives these guys the chance to hang around in sharp-looking clothes and say cool things, just because they're good at it. It's written for them. One would expect that they're hardly even playing characters, as much as they're playing themselves.

Which brings us back to Ocean's 13. The plot doesn't have anything new and worth writing home about. But it's always good to see these guys doing what they do best.

Two things I learned from girls, that contradicted what I might have supposed before.

1. Water is not the appropriate antidote for dry skin. It may seem that if your hands are dry, then water (being wet) would counteract that; apparently, this is not the case. You need lotion instead. Washing your hands repeatedly, or even taking long showers, isn't going to make you moister. At least not for long.

2. Not all girls' clothes have belt loops. If you're a guy, every pair of pants you own has either belt loops or an elastic waistband, so it doesn't totally matter if things fit. You can make any of a number of sizes fit, if you have a belt. But not so with girls' clothes. Apparently, for some things, you have to buy it in just the right size—then if you get any bigger or smaller, it doesn't fit anymore.

You learn something new every day.

The Centennial State.

I write tonight while sitting on my Ikea bed. It's the only piece of furniture in my bedroom, unless you count the cardboard box that I'm using as a nightstand. It's pretty cool.

I'm in Boulder, and it's pretty cool. If you've heard that it's a bit liberal, you're right; if you heard that it's full of hippies, that's true too. It's not a bad thing. Even the lame grocery store near my apartment (King Sooper's) has a huge natural foods section. I tend to prefer the normal processed foods, but I like the social awareness.

I've been at my internship for a week and a day. Some of the stuff I'd heard about it is true, some isn't. There are no cots laid out for people to collapse on when they've worked themselves to exhaustion. It's pretty normal inside. People have desks and offices and soccer teams on the weekends. I expected there to be a chocolate river. But there isn't one.

That said, I came home at 8 pm today and felt like it was getting home early. There's a big difference between this and other jobs, though. At other jobs I've always been counting down the minutes to 5 o'clock. Here, 5 comes and goes and you don't even notice. 6, 7, 8. By the time you look up the sun is going down, and you realize you'll have to pick up where you left off in the morning. I love what I do. What a great job.

This is one of those times where the reward for years of hard work is that you get to start all over again. I gave it everything I had through college to get here, and now I'm at the very bottom of the ladder (an intern... very bottom), looking up. That's cool, though. I've never turned down the challenge before.

Things are good.

The party.

The party was a wild, wild success. Wild. Highlights follow:

We had some problems getting the stapler-in-Jello out of the mold. Some of the Jello stayed in the mold. Oh well.

You got to choose what side you were on. I was on Team Pam. So was everybody else.

This was just a great-looking pretzel.

This is while the drama of the episode was unfolding. Look at that drama. Look at it.

The menu.

The first course was an assortment of sandwiches. They included (1) ham and cheese, which Jim used to eat for lunch every day, (2) tuna, which earned him the Big Tuna nickname, and (3) grilled cheese, which Jim and Pam made on their date on the roof of the building.

Jell-o didn't count as a whole course in itself, but we couldn't just leave it out.

The second course was big pretzels—with an assortment of toppings. I, like Michael, recommend the "Everything" pretzel.

The last course: Angela's brownies, and mint chocolate chip ice cream. Mintchocolatechip. Mintchocolatechip.

You should take him into custardy.

Getting ready for The Office season finale tonight. The menu also includes big pretzels, tuna sandwiches, and mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Yeah, it's going to be the coolest party ever.

San Francisco: a hill of a city.

I'm in San Francisco now.

I thought about making a big, non-sequitur list of things I love about the city, like Libby or Becca would do.

Then I thought about taking pictures of myself in triumphant poses by famous city landmarks, like Zack.

I even thought about not posting anything, like Patrick, or about wearing tight pants, like Stanton.

But instead I just decided to post and say that I like San Francisco, and that I want to live here for the rest of my life.

An open letter to Dr. Ed Adams, BYU Communications Department Head (I also sent it to him).

Dr. Adams,

I've just graduated from the Advertising program, and I wanted to send you my thanks and thoughts about the program. I hope I'm not violating protocol by writing you directly.

I'm in San Francisco now doing freelance work, and in a month I'm headed off to the most prestigious internship in the country, for a copywriter. I worked in the Ad Lab for my whole last year at BYU, and while interviewing for work here in one of advertising's main hubs I'm finding that my Ad Lab experience has made me more prepared than many other job candidates, including some with more industry experience under their belts.

I visited a prominent ad agency today to have lunch with another Ad Lab alumnus. To his colleagues, he didn't introduce me as a "school buddy" or even "former co-worker", although those are true; he introduced me as having worked in the Ad Lab, because of the clout it holds there. Someone referred to it in response as "the Harvard of advertising schools." It's only now that I'm away from BYU that I'm able to see how remarkable the advertising program is, and especially the Ad Lab. It's one of a kind, Dr. Adams, and it's likely preparing students for jobs better than any other undergraduate advertising program in the country.

The advertising faculty is outstanding all around, but both you and I know that the Ad Lab has reached its level of national acclaim because of Jeff Sheets. He's done a tremendous amount for my future, as well as (I'm sure) a great number of other students. He's done so much, and he can use all the help you can send his way.

I don't know how much of this actually gets back to you, so I wanted to let you know how well-respected the advertising program, and especially the Ad Lab, is in the industry.

RP
Former Creative Director, BYU Ad Lab

The last few weeks, in factoids.

It's been a busy few weeks.

• For one, I graduated from college. It's an accomplishment, even though it doesn't necessarily feel like a big one. It at least feels somewhat more imortant than high school graduation. I always wondered about those people who make a huge deal out of their high school graduation (limos, etc.)... at the time I really hoped it wouldn't be the hugest accomplishment of my life.
• Dick Cheney spoke at commencement, and the negative hype didn't amount to much. Cheney's speech was relevant and appropriate and, really, pretty good. I thought it was enjoyable, regardless of how I feel about his political views and actions.
• I said goodbye to a lot of my friends. I'm not actually gone from Provo yet, but I will be in a couple of days, and I've already seen many of them for the last time (for now, anyway). I didn't get emotional at the Convocation, though some did, and it didn't really strike me that I wouldn't see some of these people again until I said goodbye to Jeff and left the Ad Lab for the last time in my college career.
• I packed up all my stuff. I sure have a lot of stuff. You don't realize how much stuff you have until you consider putting it all into a Toyota Corolla. I'm glad I didn't actually have to.
  
• 489 presentations came and went. It was a lot of work, and overall quite a good experience. I've given sufficient props to my group, but that's not going to stop me from doing it again here. Props.
• My parents came out for graduation. They're rad. It reminded me that when I've been married for 29 years I want to be exactly like them.
• My brother got engaged, and I can't express how cool that is.
• I went on a whirlwind trip to New York, to present two campaigns to the Ad Council's Creative Review Committee. It was pretty cool... the committee itself was made of up of important people int the New York advertising world... CEO's and all that. The bummer was that we took a redeye flight to get there, and then a redeye flight to get back the next night. And when the flight left late from JFK and we missed the connecting flight in Vegas and had to wait until the next morning, I was glad I was spending the time with cool people. We had a great time.
• I've become a believer, if I wasn't before, that the Lord is keenly aware of the tiny things that are going on in our lives. He knows our hopes and dreams and He wants us to achieve them, too. He does things on His own timetable for His own reasons. And if we trust in that, He'll make things better for us than we ever could have possibly arranged ourselves.
  

Almost over.

489 presentations are on Monday. 489 is my capstone. It's kind of a big deal.

If you're reading this, you should probably come. Monday at 12:30 in the Varsity Theater. It's an ad campaign that my group assembled for Spore, a new video game by EA. The folks from EA are flying in for the presentations.

Also, our presentation is going to be rad.

--------

Now, some late-night rambling.

I've put so much into this project over the last semester (and the last few weeks) that I'm not sure what I'll do with myself when it's over. My other classes are pretty much over. I think, mostly, I'm going to sleep.

My group for the project has been unreal. I had no idea that any ten people could dedicate themselves to something in this way. And they've got skills. Man, they've got the skills. I kneel humbly before their advertising prowess. They make me look way good.

In a month my friends and I are going to be sprinkled throughout some of the most prestigious agencies and brands in the country, just like we've dreamed of. I think most of us have accomplished more in school than we expected. I know I have.

And the fun part is that it all starts over again—except it's not school this time, it's the rest of my life.

Seniority.

Went to Senior Celebration on campus yesterday.

Got a free t-shirt.

Can you spot the error?


Either nobody proofread the shirts, or they were giving out last year's.

Hey, I gotcha.

I have a couple of friends who are struggling with some things right now. You know who you are, and you can't imagine I don't know what's going on. I mean, you write about it in your respective blogs.

You should also know that I totally understand. And I've got your back. It's a hard time of year. If you need anything at all, let me know, even if it's just somebody to listen.

Sorry to everyone else for the vague post.

Our fridge.

Our fridge has been getting colder lately. Nobody turned the coldness up; rather, we've turned it down a few times. But it's still getting colder.

This morning I put a gallon of milk in the microwave, to thaw it enough to pour over cereal. It was frozen solid. Milk. Frozen solid. Into a jug-shaped piece of milk ice.

But this evening was when it all came to a head. I was making breakfast burritos. I've made breakfast burritos quite a few times, so I have a pretty good idea of the workflow: bacon takes the longest, so you start it first, and you do the eggs last because their quickest. So, as is custom, I got everything else ready before I cooked the eggs.

But when I got the carton of eggs out of the fridge, they had frozen. The eggs. All but two had frozen and exploded... I'm guessing the freezing caused the insides to expand to the point of breaking the shell. One egg was okay. The other was frozen, but not broken—so I peeled the shell off of the outside, and had a frozen raw egg. An eggsicle. An egg ice cube. It was so gross.

This is not a picture of it. But this is exactly what it looked like. My priority at the time was more about throwing it away than preserving its image for posterity. But Google provided this image, and it does it pretty good justice.

Vote for my shirt!

The "Kiss Me, I Like Kissing" shirt is now up on Threadless. You should go vote for it, right now, by clicking on the image above.

It'll have you set up an account if you don't have one, but it is free and just takes a second. Then, vote for the shirt. If you're awesome, you'll check the "I'd Buy It" box and then click 5 to give it the highest rating. You can post comments, too.

Thanks!

Man, these are pretty.

They're done. And they're amazing. Shirts this cool should be illegal in such a conservative state.


Come pick yours up whenever, I have them here. I washed them and dried them too, so don't worry about that. St. Patrick's Day is a week from today (the 17th) -- I think that since it's on a Saturday, I'm going to wear mine on Friday to get maximum visibility. But it's up to you.

Okay, you have a few days.

There's a small delay on the shirts. I was keeping some of my chemicals in the fridge, and they were accidentally thrown out during a thorough fridge-cleaning. But don't fret--they'll still get done before St. Patrick's Day.

This is your big chance if you want a shirt but haven't gotten out to buy one yet. Just get it to me soon.

From a conversation today.

dimmi: you know what would be fantastic?

me: what?

dimmi: if all of us wound up in the same rest home.

Rejected Titles for Disney/Pixar's "Monsters, Inc."

• Monsters, LLC.
• Monsters & Partners
• Monsters & Sons
• Monsters, etc.
• Monsters & Company
• Wal-Mart, Inc.