Vote for this... guy.

Back to Provo tomorrow. It'll be good to get back in the swing of things. I had a nice summer to detox. And now it's time to go tox again. The two things I'm most excited about are (1) cool new Cecil is my Homeboy stuff, and (2) the fall continuation of Movie Night. Around those two things I'll see if I can cram in classes and work.

I scanned this picture below from a mailer my dad showed me. Look really closely at the picture. Then tell me if you'd re-elect this man.

That's really unfortunate.

Wow, Grandma. I had no idea.

It's been great being home. I've slept in every day, with today as a notable exception. Today I got up early to do a yo-yo show for a seminary class, in celebration of Ezra Taft Benson's birthday. I'm still not entirely clear on the connection there, but I was pleased to find out that the class ended with President Benson's favorite dessert--lemon meringue pie--being served. All's forgiven, at that point.

My real purpose this evening, however, is to recount a great conversation I had with my grandma a few days ago, before I left the Bay Area. I doubt I can actually recreate it, so I'll just tell you about it.

My grandma was telling me about how she exercises every day, for an hour (which I think is impressive in itself). She said that she turns on the TV when she does, and watches what's on. If she goes from 12 to 1, she watches a certain show that she likes. If she goes from 1 to 2, though, she watches... The A-Team. Yeah. Uh-huh. I told her I had no idea she was so into The A-Team. She told me she really likes it, however, because nobody dies. They get hurt, sure, but nobody dies.

Regardless, my grandma watches the A-Team.

I love it.

Contracted Book of Mormon Gerund Names (Non-Comprehensive)

• Mormin'
• Ammin'
• Helamin'
• Labin'
• Lamin'
• Pahorin'
• Gadiantin' Robbers

Spirit and element, inseparably connected

I just listened to a Perspective on NPR, where a gentleman told a story about Americans on a heavy-duty mountain climbing trip in Asia, led by Nepalese sherpa guides. I think it will enhance my story to say that they were climbing Mount Everest, so let's go with that.

The expedition went quickly, and smoothly--until suddenly, the sherpa all sat down. On the ground. The Americans were exasperated.

"Get up!" they said. "Why have you stopped?"
"We're waiting," was the reply.
"Waiting? Waiting for what?"
"Waiting for our souls to catch up."

Headed home on Sunday for a while before going back to Provo. I think I'm going to dedicate the week to letting my soul catch up. Again.

Carry-on, carry-on

Over lunch at work today, I perused a copy of the USA Today that was sitting out. On the front page of its "Life" section was a big article about new regulations for airline travelers (turns out it was last Friday's paper). The thrust of the article was the new ban of liquids in carry-on luggage. It contained this lovely photo, showing a receptacle full of confiscated liquids--mentioned in the caption are beverages, deodorant, shampoo, sunscreen, and toothpaste:


Take a closer look at the photo, though, and tell me if you see what I see:

Yeah. That's mayonnaise. Not a small container, either. Someone had mayonnaise in their carry-on.

This raises so many questions that I have no idea where to begin.

Filibuster

Had a great Sacrament Meeting today. Oh man.

The first speaker (a girl in the ward) went the whole time. Bumped the other speaker to next week. She wasn't really boring, though, because she peppered in things that didn't seem like they belonged in a talk. Among them:

• the phrase "the bee's knees"
  
• a quote from The Princess Bride
• the word "acronym-ious"
• "Surfin' USA," by the Beach Boys, sung.

One of the best parts of it was that she was clearly shortening it, too. She'd look at the clock, then down at her notes--then she'd flip 3 or 4 pages and pick up somewhere else. I think that, uninhibited, she'd have gone on for two Sacrament Meetings.

I'm sure the bishopric was having fits. But I sure enjoyed it.

Two by two, as seemeth them good

I moved up here to Alameda in the last week or two of June. The ward seemed happy to have me--I met the Elder's Quorum President right away, and they seemed eager to get me involved. That was fine... I was willing.

So yesterday (note the significant time lapse) I got a home teaching route. I know that it's difficult to keep routes up to date--keeping those lists was my calling this past year--but it's not like they didn't know I was just here for the summer, either. In fact, that was the first thing the guy asked when he called me to give the assignment. I assured him that I only had a week and a half left, but that I'd be happy to make one visit or whatever before taking off.

Then he told me that I'd been assigned to visit a girl who was brand new in the ward, and that my companion, curiously, lives in Sacramento (not close). I think he realized when telling me that it's kind of pointless to have someone visit a new person once and then leave, so that still nobody knows the new person, and she has to have a brand new home teacher come again the next month. He then volunteered to come with me, so I guess the problem is solved.

Isn't that a terrific picture, by the way? Doesn't it make this whole thing feel like a Church manual? I think it really transforms the page. It contrasts neatly with my Freecell-man avatar, too.

Anyway, that's my hometeaching story. I called the girl, and fortunately she was willing to have us come before I leave.

Neither shaken nor stirred, exactly

After a long weekend at home in lovely Bakersfield, we drove back to the Bay Area yesterday. "We" in this instance is a word that means me, my sister, and the new puppy. I drove the first half of the trip, so I stopped in Santa Nella where I always stop. At the same Carl's Jr. that I always stop at. And I went in and got the same Oreo milkshake that I get every time.

There's a new trend in shakes, though, and it's to put whipped cream on top, and a funky round lid. I quote from a Jack in the Box press release:

Jack’s new shake style, which also features a clear plastic cup with a dome-shaped lid to contain a heaping serving of whipped topping, is available with all of Jack’s famous shake flavors...

I've gotten the dome-shaped lid a couple of times, and I don't like it one bit. I wish I had a better picture to put in, so you could see what I'm talking about if you haven't already. Since they mix the shake right in the cup, the hole in the top is really big. Since I'm in the car, though, I prefer (1) a homogeneous milkshake, and (2) a cup that won't spill everywhere if it happens to tip.

So I asked the girl. "Can you just put it in a normal cup, that I can put a normal lid on?" She seem confused, but more by why I wasn't happy with the standard cup than with the mechanics of what I was saying. It did turn out to be a logistics problem for her, though--procedure is to put the cup on a scale and weigh the amount of ice cream that you put in, and then eyeball the remaining ingredients against how full the cup is. She ended up asking her manager how to do it in the other kind of cup, which is a different size. This manager, though, was the kind of thinker that we normally reserve for higher callings, like filing. Mix it in the original cup, she said, and then poor it into the other cup. It was terrific. All were edified, and rejoiced together.

Maybe I'm just anal, because I like my shake in a cup with a flat lid that keeps the shake in.

Things I Like More Than Other People*

• Fig Newtons
• Bacon
• "Dr. Feelgood" by Mötley Crüe

* I've had plenty of opportunity to change the title of this post, and I've declined it. What does it mean? Does it mean I like these things more than I like other people? Or just that I like them more than other people do? That's purposely left vague here, for you to discern. I appreciate things that are representative and symbolic, and this is one of those things. Perhaps you fill in the details with experiences from your own life. Perhaps an optimistic or pessimistic view of life at the moment colors the words you read. Perhaps you know me well, perhaps you don't. Does the fact that there's not many items on the list affect your decision? Or how about the quality of items on the list? Have you considered that the author himself may not have a clear answer? Perhaps all intepretations are correct. It's like a Rothko, or that big Yves Klein piece up in the SF MOMA. If it's going to mean something, it's up to you. I'll give you a hint, though--you're probably right.

The newest member of the family

My sister got a puppy today. A Boston Terrier... six weeks old, and about the most adorable thing ever. I'm even willing to take the flak for calling it "adorable," because it'll grow up to be a pretty macho dog, despite being a girl--muscular, and blunt (in shape). No fluffiness or froofiness here.

This is a real photo now, and she has a name- Zoe. She weighs 4 pounds, and apparently 3 pounds of that is urine at any given time.

I think dogs are pretty much the greatest thing. They have the ability to love unconditionally. They're just pleased that you're alive. And everything is a great idea, whether it be getting in the car, eating, going outside, whatever. They let you be the smart one, and then they thank you for it all the time.

I think one secret to success is to get a dog that isn't all that smart. Really smart dogs, like a Border Collie, always have to be doing something (say, herding sheep), and they get to be a lot of work--but a dog a little further down the totem pole is just pleased as punch to sleep for most of the day. That's a good pet, right there.